Relationships and Community on Being Offended

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Living in Outrage Heaven

Author

Keywords

Scripture

Psalm 37:8, Colossians 3:8, Galatians 5:22-23, Romans 12:17-18, Matthew 7:1-2

The political cartoonist and Op-Ed writer Tim Kreider has provided us with some insight into the “world of outrage” we currently inhabit. A world that has been amplified by the dawn of the Internet an...

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Author

Blaise Pascal

Keywords

Scripture

Philippians 3:13-14, Romans 12:18, Colossians 3:13, James 5:16, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Psalm 147:3

Time heals griefs and quarrels, for we change and are no longer the same persons. Neither the offender nor the offended are any more themselves.

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Author

Ronald A. Heifetz, Marty Linsky, Alexander Grashow

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 19:11, Romans 12:21, Isaiah 50:7, Nehemiah 6:3, Galatians 1:10

When you take "personal" attacks personally, you unwittingly conspire in one of the common ways you can be taken out of action-you make yourself the issue. Attacks may be personal, understan...

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Tearing the Leech Off

Author

Gary Preston

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 6:14-15, Ephesians 4:31-32, Colossians 3:13, Romans 12:17-21, 1 Peter 3:9, Proverbs 19:11, Luke 17:3-4

There’s a story about a traveler making his way with a guide through the jungles of Burma. They came to a shallow but wide river and waded through it to the other side. When the traveler came out of t...

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Bitterness only Hurts Ourselves

Author

R. T. Kendall

Keywords

Scripture

Romans 12:19, Matthew 6:14-15, Ephesians 4:31-32, Colossians 3:13, Luke 6:37, Romans 12:17-21, 1 Peter 3:9

When we are bitter, we delude ourselves into thinking that those who hurt us are more likely to be punished as long as we are set on revenge. We are afraid to let go of those feelings. After all, if w...

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Defending the Truth

Author

Richard J. Mouw

Keywords

Scripture

Exodus 20:16 , Zechariah 8:16–17, Leviticus 19:17–18, Ephesians 4:15, Romans 12:17–18, Psalm 15:1–3

I once had the opportunity to speak briefly to a large Mormon audience at the Tabernacle in Salt Lake City. I told them that I feel badly about the fact that we evangelicals often tell Mormons what th...

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Almighty God, harsh words and personal

Author

Laura B. Murray

Keywords

Scripture

1 Peter 3:9, Matthew 5:5, Romans 12:17-19, Colossians 3:12-14, Proverbs 15:1, Matthew 5:44, Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 18:21, Matthew 12:36

Almighty God, harsh words and personal attacks can bring out the worst in us. We find ourselves spending energy on thoughts of retaliation and plans to protect ourselves. Father forgive us. We long to...

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A Failure to Appreciate the Other’s Point of View

Author

John Stott

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 18:13, Matthew 18:16, Romans 12:18, Proverbs 20:3, Matthew 5:24

Most quarrels are due to a misunderstanding, and the misunderstanding is due to our failure to appreciate the other person’s point of view. It is more natural to us to talk than to listen, to argue th...

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Anxiety in Disagreements

Author

Buster Benson

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 5:44, Colossians 3:12-13, Proverbs 29:11, 2 Timothy 2:23-24, Romans 12:18

Anxiety sparks when a perspective we value bumps into another perspective that challenges it in some way. If we find this new perspective to be unacceptable, that’s when our “Someone is wrong on the i...

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Contempt, a Prayer of Confession

Author

Lisa Ann Moss Degrenia

Keywords

Scripture

Luke 4:21-30, Mark 6:1-6, Matthew 5:44, Colossians 3:12-13, James 4:11, 1 Peter 2:1, Romans 12:10

Contempt is so painful To be dismissed, disregarded Questioning instead of dignity Accusation instead of personhood I have felt its sting and hollowness As have you, my Jesus Help me hear the needed ...

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Author

Margaret Thatcher

Keywords

Scripture

Luke 6:22-23, 2 Timothy 4:16-17, Psalm 109:2-3, Isaiah 54:17, Romans 12:19, Proverbs 26:4-5

I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well, if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single political argument left.

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Almighty God, too often we settle for

Author

Laura B. Murray

Keywords

Scripture

Romans 12:18, Psalm 51:10, Isaiah 1:17, James 2:13, Micah 6:8, Matthew 5:6

Almighty God, too often we settle for brokenness in our lives. Rather than offering forgiveness, we hold onto offense. Rather than pursuing justice, we turn away . Rather than offering mercy, we c...

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Forgiveness Means…

Author

N. T. Wright

Keywords

Forgiveness

Scripture

Proverbs 19:11, Matthew 18:21-22, Romans 12:20-21, Mark 11:25, Ephesians 4:31-32, Colossians 3:13

Forgiveness doesn’t mean “I didn’t really mind” or “it didn’t really matter.” I did mind and it did matter, otherwise there wouldn’t be anything to forgive at all, merely something to adjust my attitu...

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Contempt, a Prayer of Confession

Author

Lisa Ann Moss Degrenia

Keywords

Scripture

Ephesians 4:31-32, Matthew 5:44, Colossians 3:12-13, James 4:11, 1 Peter 2:1, Romans 12:10

Contempt is so painful To be dismissed, disregarded Questioning instead of dignity Accusation instead of personhood I have felt its sting and hollowness As have you, my Jesus Help me hear the needed m...

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Revenge Doesn’t Say

Author

Miroslav Volf

Keywords

Scripture

Leviticus 24:19-21, Romans 12:17-21, 1 Peter 3:9, Matthew 5:38-39, Proverbs 24:29, Matthew 26:52-54, Deuteronomy 32:35

In Exclusion and Embrace , Yale professor Miroslav Volf reflects on the themes of revenge, mercy, forgiveness and grace. Volf, who grew up in war-ravaged Croatia, speaks from a place of deep concer...

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The Echo of an Argument

Author

John Ortberg

Keywords

Scripture

2 Corinthians 5:18, Psalm 34:18, Romans 12:18, James 1:19-20, Proverbs 15:1, Matthew 6:14-15, Colossians 3:13

Philip Yancey writes of a friend whose marriage was choked by hostility. One night the friend reached the breaking point: “I hate you!” he screamed at his wife. “I won’t take it any more. I’ve had eno...

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Dealing with Conflict Directly

Author

N. T. Wright

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 10:12, 2 Timothy 2:24-25, Romans 12:17-18, James 1:19-20, Proverbs 25:11-12, Galatians 6:1, Matthew 18:15

If someone has done something wrong even at a personal level, the right thing to do is not to gossip about it, not to tell everybody else, not to allow resentment to build up and fester, and certainly...

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Author

A Franciscan Blessing

Keywords

Scripture

1 Corinthians 1:27, Romans 12:15, Luke 4:18-19, Psalm 34:18, James 1:27

God bless us with discomfort at easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships, so that we may live deep within our hearts. God bless us with righteous anger at injustice, oppression, and exp...

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The Old Bell Keeps Swinging

Author

Chris Stroup

Keywords

Scripture

Psalm 32:5, James 5:16, Romans 12:17-21, Luke 6:37, Mark 11:25, Colossians 3:13

Corrie ten Boom told of not being able to forget a wrong that had been done to her. She had forgiven the person, but she kept rehashing the incident and so couldn’t sleep. Finally Corrie cried out to ...

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Who Determines Your Behavior?

Author

The Pastor's Workshop

Keywords

Scripture

Romans 12:1, Matthew 5:44, Proverbs 15:1, 1 Peter 3:9, Luke 6:31, Galatians 6:9, Colossians 3:12-13, 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, Genesis 50:20, Philippians 2:3-4, James 1:19-20, 1 Samuel 24:17

Some years ago, the syndicated newspaper columnist Sidney J. Harris shared an interesting anecdote from one of his friends. Each evening, this friend would stop at the same newsstand to buy a newspape...

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An Unexpected Friendship: Sermon Illustration Tuesday

Author

Stuart R. Strachan, Jr.

Keywords

Scripture

1 Peter 4:8, James 5:16, Proverbs 19:11, Romans 12:17-21, Luke 6:27-28

Sometimes moments of forgiveness and friendship come from unexpected places. In 2018, the comedian Pete Davidson appeared on the “Weekend Update” segment of Saturday Night Live (SNL). Davidson made a ...

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How We Become Peacemakers

Author

Jerry Bridges

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 5:9, James 4:1-2, Ephesians 4:31-32, Colossians 3:12-13, Romans 12:18, 1 John 2:9-11

To become peacemakers, then, we must begin with ourselves. We must ask ourselves, “Why do I make cutting remarks to another person? Why do I make demeaning remarks about them?” We must also ask oursel...

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The Golden Result

Author

Ken Sande

Keywords

Scripture

1 John 1:9, Luke 6:37, Romans 12:10, Proverbs 15:1, Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:32, James 5:16

The Golden Result is a corollary to the Golden Rule, which calls us to do to others as we would have them do to us. The Golden Result says that people will usually treat us as we treat them. If we bla...

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Who are You to Think You are Better than Our Lord?

Author

Madeline L'Engle

Keywords

Scripture

Romans 12:18, John 15:9-17

While exploring an experience of deep guilt and shame with her spiritual director, the author of Madeleine L’Engle, wrote One time I was talking to Canon Tallis, who is my spiritual director as we...

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Author

Ambrose of Milan

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 6:14-15, Proverbs 20:22, Colossians 3:12-13, Romans 12:19, 1 Peter 3:9, Ephesians 4:31-32, Matthew 5:44

No one heals himself by wounding another.

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Author

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Keywords

Scripture

1 Thessalonians 5:15, Romans 12:20-21, Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:31-32, Romans 12:14

I can no longer condemn or hate a brother for whom I pray; no matter how much trouble he causes me. His face, that hitherto may have been strange and intolerable to me, is transformed in intercession ...

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The Nebulous "They"

Author

The Pastor's Workshop

Keywords

Scripture

Galatians 1:10, Colossians 3:23, Psalm 139:13-14, Proverbs 29:25, Romans 8:31, 1 Thessalonians 2:4, 1 Samuel 16:7, Romans 12:2, John 1:12

George Herbert Mead, an influential early 20th-century sociologist, coined the term “generalized other” to describe the vague group we consider when shaping our actions. How often do we behave a certa...

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God our Father We confess to you and to

Author

Jacob Traeger

Keywords

Scripture

James 1:19-20, Proverbs 15:1, Romans 12:17-21, Matthew 5:38-39, Luke 6:35-36, Matthew 18:21-35, Matthew 5:43-44, 1 Peter 3:9, Genesis 45:4-8

God our Father We confess to you and to one another That we have been quick to anger And slow to mercy We have paid back abuse with abuse Hatred with hatred And violence with violence The world does n...

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Can You Forgive a Monster?

Author

The Pastor's Workshop

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 5:44, Proverbs 20:22, Mark 11:25, Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:31-32, Romans 12:19-21, Matthew 6:14-15

Revenge and forgiveness are major themes of Michael Christopher’s play, The Black Angel. In it, Herman Engel is Nazi general responsible for killing over 200 French Jews. Convicted of his crimes by th...

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For the times we neglect to care for

Author

Austin D. Hill

Keywords

Scripture

Galatians 6:2, Romans 12:13, Hebrews 13:2, James 2:1, Romans 15:7

For the times we neglect to care for our brothers and sisters in Christ, please forgive us, Lord. For the times we fail to welcome new people who look or act different from ourselves, please forgiv...

relationships and community on Being Offended

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