Relationships and Community on Disagreement

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Disagreement is refreshing when two men lovingly desire to compare their views to find out truth. Controversy is wretched when it is only an attempt to prove another wrong. Religious controversy does ...

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M. R. DeHaan

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We need not all agree, but if we disagree, let us not be disagreeable in our disagreements.

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Don't Take Conflict Personally

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Stuart R. Strachan, Jr.

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1 Peter 3:8-11

Called to Pastor, Inclined to Argue When I was graduating from college in the mid-2000s, I was encouraged to take a career test to determine where my personality type would fit in the working world. ...

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Phillip Yancey

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The issue is not whether I agree with someone but rather how I treat someone with whom I profoundly disagree. We Christians are called to use the “weapons of grace,” which means treating even our oppo...

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Buster Benson

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The easiest thing you can do to have more productive disagreements immediately is to remember to ask the other person: “Is this about what’s true, what’s meaningful, or what’s useful?” Is this about t...

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Philip Reiff

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Matthew 4:1-11, Acts 2:1-4 , John 20:24-29, Psalm 19:1-4 , Psalm 6:10, Psalm 66:5-7

Arguments are ineffectual unless supported by events.

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Tom Howard

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2 Timothy 2:23-24, Ephesians 4:, 1 Corinthians 12:12-21, 1 Corinthians 14:26-28, 1 Peter 2:1, John 17:21, 1 Corinthians 3:3, 1 Corinthians 12:25, 1 Corinthians 1:11-13, Matthew 12:25-26

Christian disunity is and remains a massive impediment to the gospel itself—the proclamation of which is and should be evangelicalism’s strong suit.

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Tim Muehlhoff & Richard Langer

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Genesis 37:3-4, 18-20, Exodus 32:19-21, 1 Kings 12:6-11, 1 Kings 14:1-3, 13 , Philippians 2:3-4, Psalm 133:1

The reason we fight with each other, and often believe the worst about each other, is that we form convictions about things for which we care deeply. Unfortunately, we all care deeply about different ...

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The Key Word in a Disagreement

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Buster Benson

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Colossians 3:12-13, Matthew 5:44, Ecclesiastes 7:9, Philippians 2:3-4, James 3:17, Proverbs 15:1, 2 Timothy 2:24-25

The key word in our definition of a disagreement (an unacceptable difference between two perspectives), isn’t “difference.” It’s “unacceptable.” Once the clash between perspectives becomes unacceptabl...

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Um…That’s My Bumper Sticker

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Scott Sauls

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Matthew 7:1-2, 1 Samuel 16:7, John 7:24, Romans 14:10-13, 1 Corinthians 4:5, Psalm 18:27

During the 1992 presidential elections a friend of mine told me about an awkward moment in his Bible study. One of the group members expressed excitement because that Sunday, she had seen a bumper sti...

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Duke Kwon

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Genesis 50:15-21, 2 Samuel 12:13, Leviticus 6:1-5 , Luke 19:8-9 , James 5:16 , Psalm 32:5

How To Apologize • express sorrow (I’m sorry) • own guilt (I was wrong) • name specific wrongs (I did X) • name impact (I hurt u) • no IFs (sorry if I) • don’t blameshift/defend (but u) ...

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Using Jesus as a Model when Negotiating during the Cold War

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The Pastor's Workshop

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Genesis 33:4, 2 Kings 5:1-15 , Isaiah 1:18, Matthew 9:10-13, 2 Corinthians 5:18-19, Psalm 133:1

Dag Hammarskjöld, a Swedish economist and diplomat deeply committed to his Christian faith, served as the Secretary-General of the United Nations during some of the most turbulent times of the Cold Wa...

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Turning from Conflict to Conversion

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The Pastor's Workshop

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Jonah 1:4, Luke 15:11-32, Matthew 18:21-35, Psalm 34:8, Romans 8:28

Maltbie D. Babcock, author of This Is My Father’s World and a Presbyterian pastor in Brooklyn, introduced a free pew system in his church, upsetting a wealthy woman who found strangers in her us...

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The Fruit of a Productive Disagreement

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Buster Benson

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Proverbs 17:22, Romans 12:10, Proverbs 27:17, Proverbs 15:22, Matthew 11:15

A productive disagreement yields fruit: the fruit of security, by removing a threat, reducing a risk, resulting in a deal, or concluding with a decision; the fruit of growth, by revealing new informat...

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Anxiety in Disagreements

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Buster Benson

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Matthew 5:44, Colossians 3:12-13, Proverbs 29:11, 2 Timothy 2:23-24, Romans 12:18

Anxiety sparks when a perspective we value bumps into another perspective that challenges it in some way. If we find this new perspective to be unacceptable, that’s when our “Someone is wrong on the i...

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5 Steps to Handling Strife Within the Church

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Mike Kenyon

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James 4:1, Philippians 2:14, 1 Corinthians 14:33, James 1:5

Conflict in Ministry Have you ever whispered to yourself, “I didn’t sign up for this?” I confess those words have passed through my mind more than once over the years. When I started out in ministry...

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God of grace–generous Giver of all good

God of grace–generous Giver of all good gifts: You bless us abundantly every day—In Your Son our Savior who makes us new creations; in the smile of child, the greeting of a friend and the hug of a...

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Blessing the Women: A Prayer for Mother’s Day

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Lisa Ann Moss Degrenia

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Psalm 139:13-14

Loving God, You knit us together in our mother’s womb and breathe us into being. Thank you for the gift of life and for bringing us into this world through our mothers. We recognize the risk they took...

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Risen Lord, Loving Father ... and

Risen Lord, Loving Father ... and Ever-Present Spirit: Thank You for reaching into our doubts, giving us the faith we lack. Thank You for Your gracious condescension reaching from the glories of heave...

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Peacemaking Begins With Us

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Jon Huckins and Jer Swigart

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Recently we found ourselves around a table with a team of faith leaders from an influential Midwestern church. Their restlessness was palpable. “Peace has been one of our core values for years,” they ...

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Love Does not Insist on Its Own Way

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Dave Peterson

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1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Philippians 2:3-4, Colossians 3:12-14, John 13:1-17, Luke 10:25-37, Genesis 37:50, 1 Peter 4:8

Once, while on vacation, on our way to church, Terri and I got into a disagreement over something. When I felt I was losing, to make my point, I stopped the car and got out. We were on a country road....

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Never Attack an Individual

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Justin Trudeau

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John 13:34, Colossians 3:12, Matthew 5:9, 1 Peter 2:17, Galatians 3:28, Proverbs 15:1, Philippians 2:3

In a speech given at his father’s (former Canadian PM Pierre Trudeau) funeral, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau shares this story about an experience he had with his father when he was a young b...

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Defending the Truth

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Richard J. Mouw

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Exodus 20:16 , Zechariah 8:16–17, Leviticus 19:17–18, Ephesians 4:15, Romans 12:17–18, Psalm 15:1–3

I once had the opportunity to speak briefly to a large Mormon audience at the Tabernacle in Salt Lake City. I told them that I feel badly about the fact that we evangelicals often tell Mormons what th...

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The Two Worlds of Relationships

Author

Henry Cloud

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Relationships

Scripture

Ephesians 4:15

Many of us live in two worlds when it comes to relationships. In one world we have friendly conversations in which we avoid all disagreements; in the other we have major conflict-type conversations th...

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The Truth and Love Paradox

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Henry Cloud & John Townsend

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Ephesians 4:15

The last time someone said to you, “I need to talk to you,” how did that strike you? Did you think, Maybe she needs to tell me how much she appreciates me. More likely you thought, I’m in trouble. Whe...

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The Gospel and the Other: Preaching in an Age of "Us vs. Them"

Author

Andrew DeCort

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Luke 10:25-37

When conflict and division are driving both politics and media (including social media), the contrast between the way of the world and the way of Jesus stands out more than ever. How can pastors, task...

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Ash Wednesday - Turning to God in Crisis

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Stuart R. Strachan, Jr.

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A World in Chaos At the risk of sounding dramatic, both the U.S. and the world seem to be reaching a level of chaos unmatched since 9/11. The confusion and shifting loyalties, not to mention the 26,0...

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A Failure to Appreciate the Other’s Point of View

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John Stott

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Proverbs 18:13, Matthew 18:16, Romans 12:18, Proverbs 20:3, Matthew 5:24

Most quarrels are due to a misunderstanding, and the misunderstanding is due to our failure to appreciate the other person’s point of view. It is more natural to us to talk than to listen, to argue th...

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Doubt is in Everyone

Author

John Ortberg

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Jeremiah 29:13, Proverbs 3:5-6, Romans 8:24-25, Hebrews 11:1, John 20:27

Writer Michael Novak says that doubt is not so much a dividing line that separates people into different camps, as it is a razor’s edge that runs through every soul. Many believers tend to think doubt...

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Arguments are Everywhere

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Buster Benson

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We argue with our alarm clock, which insists we wake up. We argue with our clothes that wear out or stop fitting. We argue with our bodies, we argue with our pets, we argue with bumps in the sidewalk ...

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