Relationships and Community on Conflict

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Conflict is a painful fact of life. Many of us have not experienced the trauma of war or the violence of racism, but we have all been wounded by words.

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Max Lucado

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Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional.

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Turning from Conflict to Conversion

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The Pastor's Workshop

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Jonah 1:4, Luke 15:11-32, Matthew 18:21-35, Psalm 34:8, Romans 8:28

Maltbie D. Babcock, author of This Is My Father’s World and a Presbyterian pastor in Brooklyn, introduced a free pew system in his church, upsetting a wealthy woman who found strangers in her us...

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Don't Take Conflict Personally

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Stuart R. Strachan, Jr.

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1 Peter 3:8-11

Called to Pastor, Inclined to Argue When I was graduating from college in the mid-2000s, I was encouraged to take a career test to determine where my personality type would fit in the working world. ...

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Mutual Accusations

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William Ury

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Genesis 3:8-13, Matthew 7:3-5, Romans 14:10-13, Luke 6:41-42, James 6:41-42, James 4:11-12, Ephesians 4:31-32

In the mid-1980s, I helped facilitate a series of conferences between top Soviet and American policy advisers on the question of how to prevent a nuclear war. The times were tense and the accusations ...

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Prayer for Times of Conflict

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Matthew 5:9, Romans 12:17-18, Psalm 34:14, Ephesians 4:2-3, John 14:27, Romans 14:19, 2 Corinthians 13:11, James 3:18, Isaiah 26:3, Philippians 4:6-7

O God, you have bound us together in a common life. Help us, in the midst of our struggles for justice and truth, to confront one another without hatred or bitterness, and to work together with mutual...

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May the Lord of love keep us all in

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Acts 16:25-34, Luke 24:13-35, John 8:1-11, Mark 4:35-41, Philippians 4:4-7, Psalm 40:8, Titus 2:11-12

May the Lord of love keep us all in peace, transform our conflict into the beauty of his grace, and give us joyful hearts to do his will. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. A...

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John Hagee

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A pure heart won't get us out of conflict and controversy. It may well be the very thing that gets us into it.

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The Truth and Love Paradox

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Henry Cloud & John Townsend

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Ephesians 4:15

The last time someone said to you, “I need to talk to you,” how did that strike you? Did you think, Maybe she needs to tell me how much she appreciates me. More likely you thought, I’m in trouble. Whe...

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5 Steps to Handling Strife Within the Church

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Mike Kenyon

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James 4:1, Philippians 2:14, 1 Corinthians 14:33, James 1:5

Conflict in Ministry Have you ever whispered to yourself, “I didn’t sign up for this?” I confess those words have passed through my mind more than once over the years. When I started out in ministry...

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Dealing with Conflict Directly

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N. T. Wright

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Proverbs 10:12, 2 Timothy 2:24-25, Romans 12:17-18, James 1:19-20, Proverbs 25:11-12, Galatians 6:1, Matthew 18:15

If someone has done something wrong even at a personal level, the right thing to do is not to gossip about it, not to tell everybody else, not to allow resentment to build up and fester, and certainly...

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The Politics of Ministry Book Review & Quotes

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Stuart R. Strachan, Jr.

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Scripture

Philippians 2:21

Picture this: you are just about a year into your first call as a minister. Everything seems to be going swimmingly. You caught up with a seminary friend over the weekend and you slightly brag about h...

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The Cellist of Sarajevo

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James Bryan Smith

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Habakkuk 3:17-18, John 16:33, 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, Romans 12:17-21, Psalm 57:

From 1992 to 1995 the world witnessed one of the worst civil conflicts, the Bosnian War. Three factions, each tied to a religion (Orthodox Serbs, Catholic Croats, and Muslim Bosniaks), began attacking...

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God, our heavenly Father and the

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Richard Herman

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Psalm 86:5, Joel 2:13, Exodus 34:6, 1 John 1:9, Micah 7:18, Romans 2:4

God, our heavenly Father and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ: We praise and thank you today and always! You are worthy of our praise simply for who You are: You are good and You are strong, ...

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Eternal Father, we come to you at the

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W. E. Orchard

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Eternal Father, we come to you at the close of day (change as applicable) , when from long ago men and women have always turned aside to seek your face. Wearied by the conflict of life, worn by the b...

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Loving God, you are always ready to

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Chip Hardwick

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Loving God, you are always ready to forgive our sins. We are much less eager to forgive those with whom we disagree. So often when we have something against our friends, family, or strangers, we escal...

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The Humanity of the Stranger: the Samaritan in the Israel/Gaza Crisis

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Scott B. Bullock

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Luke 10:null, Luke 10:30

Compassion does not demand that we know who is right and who is wrong. In fact, it does not ask for us to know anything at all about [people] except the fact that they are in need. As I facilitated...

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The Greatest Threat to the Church?

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Tim Muehlhoff and Richard Langer

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What is the greatest threat to the church of Jesus Christ today? There are so many threats to choose from. Some Christians would identify hazards like postmodern relativism working to unravel notions ...

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Revenge Doesn’t Say

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Miroslav Volf

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Leviticus 24:19-21, Romans 12:17-21, 1 Peter 3:9, Matthew 5:38-39, Proverbs 24:29, Matthew 26:52-54, Deuteronomy 32:35

In Exclusion and Embrace , Yale professor Miroslav Volf reflects on the themes of revenge, mercy, forgiveness and grace. Volf, who grew up in war-ravaged Croatia, speaks from a place of deep concer...

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Four Thousand Deaths Over a Bucket

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Brian Jennings

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Micah 6:8, Ephesians 4:31-32, Isaiah 2:4, Matthew 5:9, Romans 12:18

From the late Middle Ages until the Renaissance, northern Italy divided into factions who supported rival political powers, which further intensified their border disputes. According to legend, in 132...

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Be Slow to Sue

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Antonin Scalia

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1 Corinthians 6:1-8, Matthew 18:15-17, Romans 12:18, James 3:17-18, Proverbs 15:1

Former Supreme Court Associate Justice Antonin Scalia argues how Christians ought to resolve conflict based on 1 Corinthians 6: I think this passage [1 Cor. 6:1–8] has something to say about the pro...

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Emotional Nanocrafts in the Space Between Us

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The Pastor's Workshop

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Romans 12:10, Revelation 3:20, Matthew 25:40, Luke 8:43-48, Song of Solomon 2:14, Psalm 42:7

In I’d Like You More If You Were More Like Me , John Ortberg uses an interesting analogy for an aspect of our relationships. In 2015, Stephen Hawking and Yuri Milner announced the Starshot Initiati...

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Thomas Paine

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These are the times that try men's souls: The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and...

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The Key Word in a Disagreement

Author

Buster Benson

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Colossians 3:12-13, Matthew 5:44, Ecclesiastes 7:9, Philippians 2:3-4, James 3:17, Proverbs 15:1, 2 Timothy 2:24-25

The key word in our definition of a disagreement (an unacceptable difference between two perspectives), isn’t “difference.” It’s “unacceptable.” Once the clash between perspectives becomes unacceptabl...

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Luke Bretherton

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When I meet someone with whom I disagree, whom I dislike, or whom I find threatening, I can do one of four things. I can kill them, I can create a structure of coercion so I can control them, or I can...

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Confrontation Defined

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Henry Cloud & John Townsend

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Genesis 32:22-32, Exodus 5:1-21, 2 Samuel 12:1-14, Matthew 18:15-17, John 21:15-19, Psalm 141:5

The Latin term for confrontation means “to turn your face toward, to look at frontally.” It merely indicates that you are turning toward the relationship and the person. You are face-to-face, so to sp...

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A Failure to Appreciate the Other’s Point of View

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John Stott

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Proverbs 18:13, Matthew 18:16, Romans 12:18, Proverbs 20:3, Matthew 5:24

Most quarrels are due to a misunderstanding, and the misunderstanding is due to our failure to appreciate the other person’s point of view. It is more natural to us to talk than to listen, to argue th...

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Phillip Yancey

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The issue is not whether I agree with someone but rather how I treat someone with whom I profoundly disagree. We Christians are called to use the “weapons of grace,” which means treating even our oppo...

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Anxiety in Disagreements

Author

Buster Benson

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Scripture

Matthew 5:44, Colossians 3:12-13, Proverbs 29:11, 2 Timothy 2:23-24, Romans 12:18

Anxiety sparks when a perspective we value bumps into another perspective that challenges it in some way. If we find this new perspective to be unacceptable, that’s when our “Someone is wrong on the i...

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The Fruit of a Productive Disagreement

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Buster Benson

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Proverbs 17:22, Romans 12:10, Proverbs 27:17, Proverbs 15:22, Matthew 11:15

A productive disagreement yields fruit: the fruit of security, by removing a threat, reducing a risk, resulting in a deal, or concluding with a decision; the fruit of growth, by revealing new informat...

relationships and community on Conflict

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