Relationships and Community on Seeking Approval

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The Nebulous "They"

Author

Keywords

Scripture

Galatians 1:10, Colossians 3:23, Psalm 139:13-14, Proverbs 29:25, Romans 8:31, 1 Thessalonians 2:4, 1 Samuel 16:7, Romans 12:2, John 1:12

George Herbert Mead, an influential early 20th-century sociologist, coined the term “generalized other” to describe the vague group we consider when shaping our actions. How often do we behave a certa...

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What Drives Success?

Author

Donald Miller

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 6:25-34, Galatians 1:10, Philippians 2:3-4, Matthew 23:1-12, Romans 12:2

In his book, Scary Close , Donald Miller acknowledges that over time he developed a mask, or a persona that kept even those closest to him from experiencing with him. As he began to peel back layers ...

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Heavenly Father, we confess that in our pursuit

Author

Allen Thompson

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 6:25-34, Luke 12:22-32, James 4:8, 1 Corinthians 10:31, Psalm 115:1, Romans 12:2

Heavenly Father, we confess that in our pursuit of good, we often miss opportunities to bring you honor and glory. We try to address our shortcomings by compensating for them, rather than by orienting...

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Monkeys & Comparison

Author

Brian Zahnd

Keywords

Scripture

2 Corinthians 10:12, Ecclesiastes 4:4, Romans 12:6, Philippians 2:3, 1 Corinthians 12:18-20, Proverbs 14:30, James 3:16

In their book Friend and Foe, social psychologists Adam Galinsky and Maurice Schweitzer cite a study by Emory University scientist Frans de Waal regarding comparison. De Waal trained capuchin monkeys ...

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Who are You to Think You are Better than Our Lord?

Author

Madeline L'Engle

Keywords

Scripture

Romans 12:18, John 15:9-17

While exploring an experience of deep guilt and shame with her spiritual director, the author of Madeleine L’Engle, wrote One time I was talking to Canon Tallis, who is my spiritual director as we...

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To Whom do I Belong?

Author

Henri J. M. Nouwen

Keywords

Belonging

Scripture

Daniel 6:null, Matthew 4:1-11, Matthew 6:24, Matthew 19:16-22, Romans 7:null, Romans 12:2, James 4:4-7, 1 John 2:15-17

At issue here is the question: ‘To whom do I belong? To God or to the world?’ Many of my daily preoccupations suggest that I belong more to the world than to God. A little criticism makes me angry, an...

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Loving Father, You receive all who come

Author

Memorial Drive Presbyterian Church

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 23:11-13, Luke 14:7-11, Colossians 3:23-24, Ephesians 4:2, Proverbs 3:34, Philippians 2:13, Romans 12:1

Loving Father, You receive all who come humbly before You. Yet we approach You far too often with much satisfaction and inappropriate pride. We think more highly of ourselves than we ought to think. W...

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The Basis of Life

Author

John C. Maxwell

Keywords

Scripture

John 13:34-35, Philippians 2:3-4, Romans 12:9-10, Colossians 3:12-14, 1 Thessalonians 5:11

The basis of life is people and how they relate to each other. Our success, fulfillment, and happiness depend upon our ability to relate effectively. The best way to become a person that others are dr...

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Author

David W. Augsburger

Keywords

Scripture

Galatians 6:2, John 4:1-26, Luke 10:38-42, Romans 12:15, Proverbs 1:5

Being heard is so close to being loved, that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.

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Contempt, a Prayer of Confession

Author

Lisa Ann Moss Degrenia

Keywords

Scripture

Luke 4:21-30, Mark 6:1-6, Matthew 5:44, Colossians 3:12-13, James 4:11, 1 Peter 2:1, Romans 12:10

Contempt is so painful To be dismissed, disregarded Questioning instead of dignity Accusation instead of personhood I have felt its sting and hollowness As have you, my Jesus Help me hear the needed ...

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Emotional Nanocrafts in the Space Between Us

Author

The Pastor's Workshop

Keywords

Scripture

Romans 12:10, Revelation 3:20, Matthew 25:40, Luke 8:43-48, Song of Solomon 2:14, Psalm 42:7

In I’d Like You More If You Were More Like Me , John Ortberg uses an interesting analogy for an aspect of our relationships. In 2015, Stephen Hawking and Yuri Milner announced the Starshot Initiati...

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Defending the Truth

Author

Richard J. Mouw

Keywords

Scripture

Exodus 20:16 , Zechariah 8:16–17, Leviticus 19:17–18, Ephesians 4:15, Romans 12:17–18, Psalm 15:1–3

I once had the opportunity to speak briefly to a large Mormon audience at the Tabernacle in Salt Lake City. I told them that I feel badly about the fact that we evangelicals often tell Mormons what th...

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Living in Outrage Heaven

Author

Tim Kreider

Keywords

Scripture

Psalm 37:8, Colossians 3:8, Galatians 5:22-23, Romans 12:17-18, Matthew 7:1-2

The political cartoonist and Op-Ed writer Tim Kreider has provided us with some insight into the “world of outrage” we currently inhabit. A world that has been amplified by the dawn of the Internet an...

Quote

Author

William Blake

Keywords

Scripture

1 John 4:10-11, John 13:1-17, Romans 12:9-10, John 15:12-13, Philippians 2:3-4, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love seeketh not Itself to please, Nor for itself hath any care; But for another gives its ease, And builds a Heaven in Hell’s despair. So sung a little Clod of Clay, Trodden with the cattle’s feet; B...

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Who Determines Your Behavior?

Author

The Pastor's Workshop

Keywords

Scripture

Romans 12:1, Matthew 5:44, Proverbs 15:1, 1 Peter 3:9, Luke 6:31, Galatians 6:9, Colossians 3:12-13, 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, Genesis 50:20, Philippians 2:3-4, James 1:19-20, 1 Samuel 24:17

Some years ago, the syndicated newspaper columnist Sidney J. Harris shared an interesting anecdote from one of his friends. Each evening, this friend would stop at the same newsstand to buy a newspape...

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The Happiness Effect

Author

Craig Detweiler

Keywords

Scripture

Romans 12:15, John 16:33, Matthew 5:4, Psalm 34:18, Ecclesiastes 3:4

After surveying an incredibly diverse cross section of college students across America, Donna Freitas found “the most pressing social media issues students face: the importance of appearing happy”—and...

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Heavenly Father, we come before Your

Author

Memorial Drive Presbyterian Church

Keywords

Scripture

2 Corinthians 5:17, Matthew 6:14, Titus 3:5, Ephesians 1:7, Romans 12:2

Heavenly Father, we come before Your throne of grace to confess our sin. We have been selfish instead of generous; we have been proud instead of humble; we have held grudges instead of forgiving; we h...

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Prayer of Adoration Lord – You are good

Author

Richard Herman

Keywords

Scripture

Romans 12:1-2, 1 John 1:9, Psalm 51:10-12, Isaiah 1:18, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, Psalm 103:1-2

Prayer of Adoration Lord – You are good …and Your goodness knows no bounds. When we were lost, You sought us out, found us and brought us home. When we were alone, You came near to us, and You gave ...

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The Perfect (Mythical) Woman

Author

Richella J. Parham

Keywords

Scripture

Genesis 6:4-5, 2 Corinthians 10:12, Romans 12:6-8, 1 Corinthians 12:12-14, Psalm 139:14, Romans 12:4-5, Philippians 4:11-13

In her excellent little book (Mythical Me), Richella Parham begins by describing a single event that led to a personal journey into addressing her struggles with comparison. Having recently moved to a...

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Almighty God, too often we settle for

Author

Laura B. Murray

Keywords

Scripture

Romans 12:18, Psalm 51:10, Isaiah 1:17, James 2:13, Micah 6:8, Matthew 5:6

Almighty God, too often we settle for brokenness in our lives. Rather than offering forgiveness, we hold onto offense. Rather than pursuing justice, we turn away . Rather than offering mercy, we c...

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Contempt, a Prayer of Confession

Author

Lisa Ann Moss Degrenia

Keywords

Scripture

Ephesians 4:31-32, Matthew 5:44, Colossians 3:12-13, James 4:11, 1 Peter 2:1, Romans 12:10

Contempt is so painful To be dismissed, disregarded Questioning instead of dignity Accusation instead of personhood I have felt its sting and hollowness As have you, my Jesus Help me hear the needed m...

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It All Starts with Relationships

Author

John Townsend

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 18:1, Ephesians 4:16, Romans 12:10, Ecclesiastes 4:9

Everything significant starts with relationship. At the end of the day, your faith, your family, your work, and your leadership are all based on who you relate to and how you relate. Your life is moti...

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The Golden Result

Author

Ken Sande

Keywords

Scripture

1 John 1:9, Luke 6:37, Romans 12:10, Proverbs 15:1, Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:32, James 5:16

The Golden Result is a corollary to the Golden Rule, which calls us to do to others as we would have them do to us. The Golden Result says that people will usually treat us as we treat them. If we bla...

Quote

Author

Tod E. Bolsinger

Keywords

Scripture

Psalm 15:1-2, Ephesians 4:15, 2 Corinthians 1:12, Colossians 3:12-14, Romans 12:9-10

Relational congruence is the ability to be fundamentally the same person with the same values in every relationship, in every circumstance and especially amidst crisis. It is the internal capacity to ...

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The Diamond Merchant

Author

The Pastor's Workshop

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 4:7, Philippians 1:9, John 10:14, Romans 12:11, 1 Corinthians 13:1-2

A wealthy Dutch collector was searching for a rare diamond to complete his collection. When a renowned New York dealer located the perfect stone, he invited the man to come see it in person. The Du...

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A Failure to Appreciate the Other’s Point of View

Author

John Stott

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 18:13, Matthew 18:16, Romans 12:18, Proverbs 20:3, Matthew 5:24

Most quarrels are due to a misunderstanding, and the misunderstanding is due to our failure to appreciate the other person’s point of view. It is more natural to us to talk than to listen, to argue th...

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The Conversational Topper

Author

Stuart R. Strachan, Jr.

Keywords

Scripture

James 1:9, Philippians 2:3-4, Proverbs 3:18, Romans 12:15, James 1:19

Have you ever been guilty of being a “conversational topper”? The topper is someone who, when another confides a challenge or shares an exciting event, immediately connects that event to their own li...

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Gracious God, we desire to follow when

Author

Laura B. Murray

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 4:19, Luke 9:23, Isaiah 30:21, John 10:27, James 1:22, Romans 12:1-2, Ephesians 4:1, 2 Timothy 1:9

Gracious God, we desire to follow when you call. We long to live according to the ways of Jesus, yet we find ourselves stumbling. Forgive us for the times we have ignored your call to follow you in th...

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Anxiety in Disagreements

Author

Buster Benson

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 5:44, Colossians 3:12-13, Proverbs 29:11, 2 Timothy 2:23-24, Romans 12:18

Anxiety sparks when a perspective we value bumps into another perspective that challenges it in some way. If we find this new perspective to be unacceptable, that’s when our “Someone is wrong on the i...

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Dealing with Conflict Directly

Author

N. T. Wright

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 10:12, 2 Timothy 2:24-25, Romans 12:17-18, James 1:19-20, Proverbs 25:11-12, Galatians 6:1, Matthew 18:15

If someone has done something wrong even at a personal level, the right thing to do is not to gossip about it, not to tell everybody else, not to allow resentment to build up and fester, and certainly...

relationships and community on Seeking Approval

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