Relationships and Community on Conflict Resolution

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Dealing with Conflict Directly

Author

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 10:12, 2 Timothy 2:24-25, Romans 12:17-18, James 1:19-20, Proverbs 25:11-12, Galatians 6:1, Matthew 18:15

If someone has done something wrong even at a personal level, the right thing to do is not to gossip about it, not to tell everybody else, not to allow resentment to build up and fester, and certainly...

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Prayer for Times of Conflict

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 5:9, Romans 12:17-18, Psalm 34:14, Ephesians 4:2-3, John 14:27, Romans 14:19, 2 Corinthians 13:11, James 3:18, Isaiah 26:3, Philippians 4:6-7

O God, you have bound us together in a common life. Help us, in the midst of our struggles for justice and truth, to confront one another without hatred or bitterness, and to work together with mutual...

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O Lord and Father of the household of

Author

Hughes Oliphant Old

Scripture

1 Timothy 2:1-2, Galatians 6:2, Romans 12:10, Micah 6:8, James 5:16

O Lord and Father of the household of faith, we thank you for the gift of faith worked within us by your Holy Spirit. We thank you for having called us to yourself, for consecrating us to your ser...

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Preventing Vengeance

Author

Mia Levetan

Keywords

Scripture

Genesis 4:8–15, Exodus 21:23–25, Micah 6:6–8 , Matthew 5:38–45, Romans 12:17–21, Psalm 46:9–10

I did some of my Clinical Pastoral Education Units in Gastonia. One of the units that I served was the Emergency Department. If there was an incident that was suspected to be gang related, they would ...

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Tearing the Leech Off

Author

Gary Preston

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 6:14-15, Ephesians 4:31-32, Colossians 3:13, Romans 12:17-21, 1 Peter 3:9, Proverbs 19:11, Luke 17:3-4

There’s a story about a traveler making his way with a guide through the jungles of Burma. They came to a shallow but wide river and waded through it to the other side. When the traveler came out of t...

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A Failure to Appreciate the Other’s Point of View

Author

John Stott

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 18:13, Matthew 18:16, Romans 12:18, Proverbs 20:3, Matthew 5:24

Most quarrels are due to a misunderstanding, and the misunderstanding is due to our failure to appreciate the other person’s point of view. It is more natural to us to talk than to listen, to argue th...

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The Fruit of a Productive Disagreement

Author

Buster Benson

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 17:22, Romans 12:10, Proverbs 27:17, Proverbs 15:22, Matthew 11:15

A productive disagreement yields fruit: the fruit of security, by removing a threat, reducing a risk, resulting in a deal, or concluding with a decision; the fruit of growth, by revealing new informat...

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Learning Peacemaking Through the Dishes

Author

The Pastor's Workshop

Keywords

Scripture

Isaiah 2:4, Matthew 5:9, Romans 12:18, Ephesians 2:14

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks tells a true story in one of his books about peacemaking in what is arguably one of the world's most difficult places to achieve it: the Middle East. One evening in the early ...

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Be Slow to Sue

Author

Antonin Scalia

Keywords

Scripture

1 Corinthians 6:1-8, Matthew 18:15-17, Romans 12:18, James 3:17-18, Proverbs 15:1

Former Supreme Court Associate Justice Antonin Scalia argues how Christians ought to resolve conflict based on 1 Corinthians 6: I think this passage [1 Cor. 6:1–8] has something to say about the pro...

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A One-Verse Peacemaking Manual

Author

Rick Love

Keywords

Peacemaking

Scripture

Romans 12:18, Romans 12:17-21

If I had to choose only one verse in the entire Bible to summarize what Jesus expects of peacemakers, it would be Romans 12:18. It’s concise and comprehensive—perfect for peacemaking dummies like me: ...

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The Line Runs Through

Author

Fleming Rutledge

Keywords

Scripture

Colossians 3:12-14, 1 Peter 3:8-9, Philippians 2:3-4, James 1:19-20, Ephesians 4:2-3, Romans 12:16-18, Romans 3:23

In any polarized situation, the overriding human tendency is to draw a line with oneself and one’s allies on the good side and the opposing party on the wicked side, with very little attempt made by e...

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Author

Tod E. Bolsinger

Keywords

Scripture

Psalm 15:1-2, Ephesians 4:15, 2 Corinthians 1:12, Colossians 3:12-14, Romans 12:9-10

Relational congruence is the ability to be fundamentally the same person with the same values in every relationship, in every circumstance and especially amidst crisis. It is the internal capacity to ...

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Revenge Doesn’t Say

Author

Miroslav Volf

Keywords

Scripture

Leviticus 24:19-21, Romans 12:17-21, 1 Peter 3:9, Matthew 5:38-39, Proverbs 24:29, Matthew 26:52-54, Deuteronomy 32:35

In Exclusion and Embrace , Yale professor Miroslav Volf reflects on the themes of revenge, mercy, forgiveness and grace. Volf, who grew up in war-ravaged Croatia, speaks from a place of deep concer...

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The Golden Result

Author

Ken Sande

Keywords

Scripture

1 John 1:9, Luke 6:37, Romans 12:10, Proverbs 15:1, Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:32, James 5:16

The Golden Result is a corollary to the Golden Rule, which calls us to do to others as we would have them do to us. The Golden Result says that people will usually treat us as we treat them. If we bla...

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How We Become Peacemakers

Author

Jerry Bridges

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 5:9, James 4:1-2, Ephesians 4:31-32, Colossians 3:12-13, Romans 12:18, 1 John 2:9-11

To become peacemakers, then, we must begin with ourselves. We must ask ourselves, “Why do I make cutting remarks to another person? Why do I make demeaning remarks about them?” We must also ask oursel...

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Put the World’s Enemies in a Room Together

Author

Lori Gottlieb

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 17:17, 1 Peter 3:8-9, Philippians 2:3-4, Romans 12:10, Colossians 3:12-13

During my training [as a therapist], a supervisor once told me, “There’s something likable in everyone,” and to my great surprise, I found that she was right. It’s impossible to get to know people dee...

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Anxiety in Disagreements

Author

Buster Benson

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 5:44, Colossians 3:12-13, Proverbs 29:11, 2 Timothy 2:23-24, Romans 12:18

Anxiety sparks when a perspective we value bumps into another perspective that challenges it in some way. If we find this new perspective to be unacceptable, that’s when our “Someone is wrong on the i...

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Gracious God, we know that You have

Author

Memorial Drive Presbyterian Church

Keywords

Scripture

Romans 5:10, 1 John 1:9, James 5:16, Matthew 6:14-15, Romans 12:18, 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Gracious God, we know that You have forgiven us in Jesus Christ, but we often remain slow to forgive one other. You have sent Your Spirit to reconcile us to each other, but we resist Your work to bind...

Quote

Author

Blaise Pascal

Keywords

Scripture

Philippians 3:13-14, Romans 12:18, Colossians 3:13, James 5:16, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Psalm 147:3

Time heals griefs and quarrels, for we change and are no longer the same persons. Neither the offender nor the offended are any more themselves.

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The Echo of an Argument

Author

John Ortberg

Keywords

Scripture

2 Corinthians 5:18, Psalm 34:18, Romans 12:18, James 1:19-20, Proverbs 15:1, Matthew 6:14-15, Colossians 3:13

Philip Yancey writes of a friend whose marriage was choked by hostility. One night the friend reached the breaking point: “I hate you!” he screamed at his wife. “I won’t take it any more. I’ve had eno...

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The Two Hermits Attempt to Quarrel

Author

Rowan Williams

Keywords

Scripture

Philippians 2:5-7, James 4:1-2, 2 Timothy 2:23-24, Romans 12:17-18, Matthew 5:39-40, Proverbs 17:14

Two hermits lived together for many years without a quarrel. One said to the other, “Let’s have a quarrel with each other, as other men do.” The other answered, “I don’t know how a quarrel happens.” T...

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Almighty God, harsh words and personal

Author

Laura B. Murray

Keywords

Scripture

1 Peter 3:9, Matthew 5:5, Romans 12:17-19, Colossians 3:12-14, Proverbs 15:1, Matthew 5:44, Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 18:21, Matthew 12:36

Almighty God, harsh words and personal attacks can bring out the worst in us. We find ourselves spending energy on thoughts of retaliation and plans to protect ourselves. Father forgive us. We long to...

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Forgive

Author

Helmut Thielicke

Keywords

Scripture

Romans 12:20-21, Luke 23:34, Matthew 18:21-22, Luke 6:37, Mark 11:25

“What happens here may be expressed by the quite simple and yet unfathomable word, ‘forgive.’ What occurs when I forgive another person? It does not mean . . . that I can ‘forget’ what he did to me. I...

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The Line Runs Through: Sermon Illustration Tuesday

Author

Stuart R. Strachan, Jr.

Keywords

Forgiveness

Scripture

Romans 12:2, 1 Peter 3:8-9, Proverbs 4:23, Ephesians 6:12, Romans 7:21-23, Jeremiah 17:9

If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the lin...

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Forgiveness is a Gift

Author

James Bryan Smith

Keywords

Scripture

2 Corinthians 5:18-19, Matthew 6:14-15, Romans 12:18, Matthew 5:23-24, Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:32

God has given us all a message of reconciliation-that God, in Christ, has reconciled the world to himself (2 Corinthians 5:18-19). The first place we are invited to practice this reconciliation is wit...

Quote

Author

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Keywords

Scripture

1 Thessalonians 5:15, Romans 12:20-21, Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:31-32, Romans 12:14

I can no longer condemn or hate a brother for whom I pray; no matter how much trouble he causes me. His face, that hitherto may have been strange and intolerable to me, is transformed in intercession ...

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Emotional Nanocrafts in the Space Between Us

Author

The Pastor's Workshop

Keywords

Scripture

Romans 12:10, Revelation 3:20, Matthew 25:40, Luke 8:43-48, Song of Solomon 2:14, Psalm 42:7

In I’d Like You More If You Were More Like Me , John Ortberg uses an interesting analogy for an aspect of our relationships. In 2015, Stephen Hawking and Yuri Milner announced the Starshot Initiati...

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The Boodle Feast

Author

Rick Love

Keywords

Scripture

John 13:34-35, Galatians 3:28, 1 Peter 4:9, Matthew 25:35, Luke 14:12-14, Romans 12:13, Hebrews 13:2

In his helpful book Peace Catalysts , Rick Love shares a poignant example of how sharing a meal can break down the familiar walls of status, power, and economics: In 2011, my wife, Fran, and I we...

liturgy

A Prayer attributed to St. Francis

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 5:9, Romans 12:18, Galatians 5:22-23, 1 Peter 3:8-9, James 3:17-18

Lord, make us instruments of your peace. Where there is hatred, let us sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope...

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Author

N. T. Wright

Keywords

Scripture

Colossians 3:13, Matthew 5:7, Micah 4:2-3, Isaiah 11:4, Romans 12:17-18

Jesus offers a new sort of justice, a creative, healing, restorative justice. The old justice found in the Bible was designed to prevent revenge running away with itself. Better an eye for an eye and ...

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