Relationships and Community on Controversy

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How Do Porcupines Cuddle?

Keywords

Scripture

1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Philippians 2:3-4, Proverbs 15:1, Colossians 3:12-13, Ephesians 4:2-3, Romans 12:18

The furniture salesman said the couch would seat five friends without a problem. Then I realized, I don’t have five friends without a problem. Old joke—sorry—but still. It reminds me of the old saying...

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Mutual Accusations

Author

William Ury

Keywords

Scripture

Genesis 3:8-13, Matthew 7:3-5, Romans 14:10-13, Luke 6:41-42, James 6:41-42, James 4:11-12, Ephesians 4:31-32

In the mid-1980s, I helped facilitate a series of conferences between top Soviet and American policy advisers on the question of how to prevent a nuclear war. The times were tense and the accusations ...

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Author

Tom Howard

Keywords

Scripture

2 Timothy 2:23-24, Ephesians 4:, 1 Corinthians 12:12-21, 1 Corinthians 14:26-28, 1 Peter 2:1, John 17:21, 1 Corinthians 3:3, 1 Corinthians 12:25, 1 Corinthians 1:11-13, Matthew 12:25-26

Christian disunity is and remains a massive impediment to the gospel itself—the proclamation of which is and should be evangelicalism’s strong suit.

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Defending the Truth

Author

Richard J. Mouw

Keywords

Scripture

Exodus 20:16 , Zechariah 8:16–17, Leviticus 19:17–18, Ephesians 4:15, Romans 12:17–18, Psalm 15:1–3

I once had the opportunity to speak briefly to a large Mormon audience at the Tabernacle in Salt Lake City. I told them that I feel badly about the fact that we evangelicals often tell Mormons what th...

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R.C. Sproul & The Social Pariah

Author

Stuart R. Strachan, Jr.

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 6:14-15, Matthew 18:21-35, Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:13, John 8:10-11, Psalm 103:12, Isaiah 1:18

The pastor R.C. Sproul was studying in the Netherlands in the last 1960s and randomly struck up a conversation with a Dutch woman. The conversation was a common, enjoyable interaction, but when it was...

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The Controversial Cookies

Author

Reader’s Digest

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 7:1-2, John 7:24, Proverbs 18:2, James 4:11-12, 1 Corinthians 4:5, Proverbs 21:2, Ephesians 4:31-32, Colossians 3:12-13

A traveler, between flights at an airport, went to a lounge and bought a small package of cookies. Then she sat down and began reading a newspaper. Gradually, she became aware of a rustling noise. Fro...

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Almighty God, harsh words and personal

Author

Laura B. Murray

Keywords

Scripture

1 Peter 3:9, Matthew 5:5, Romans 12:17-19, Colossians 3:12-14, Proverbs 15:1, Matthew 5:44, Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 18:21, Matthew 12:36

Almighty God, harsh words and personal attacks can bring out the worst in us. We find ourselves spending energy on thoughts of retaliation and plans to protect ourselves. Father forgive us. We long to...

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Prayer for Times of Conflict

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 5:9, Romans 12:17-18, Psalm 34:14, Ephesians 4:2-3, John 14:27, Romans 14:19, 2 Corinthians 13:11, James 3:18, Isaiah 26:3, Philippians 4:6-7

O God, you have bound us together in a common life. Help us, in the midst of our struggles for justice and truth, to confront one another without hatred or bitterness, and to work together with mutual...

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The Truth and Love Paradox

Author

Henry Cloud & John Townsend

Keywords

Scripture

Ephesians 4:15

The last time someone said to you, “I need to talk to you,” how did that strike you? Did you think, Maybe she needs to tell me how much she appreciates me. More likely you thought, I’m in trouble. Whe...

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Permission to Speak Freely

Author

Stuart R. Strachan, Jr.

Keywords

Scripture

1 Thessalonians 5:11, Ephesians 4:15, Proverbs 27:5-6, Colossians 4:6, Proverbs 3:7, Proverbs 25:11, Ezekiel 33:6, Matthew 18:15

If you’ve ever watched a war movie, or a film that takes place in the military, you’re likely to have encountered a specific scene, in which a subordinate will have something to tell a senior officer ...

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The Two Worlds of Relationships

Author

Henry Cloud

Keywords

Relationships

Scripture

Ephesians 4:15

Many of us live in two worlds when it comes to relationships. In one world we have friendly conversations in which we avoid all disagreements; in the other we have major conflict-type conversations th...

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Four Thousand Deaths Over a Bucket

Author

Brian Jennings

Keywords

Scripture

Micah 6:8, Ephesians 4:31-32, Isaiah 2:4, Matthew 5:9, Romans 12:18

From the late Middle Ages until the Renaissance, northern Italy divided into factions who supported rival political powers, which further intensified their border disputes. According to legend, in 132...

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Author

N. T. Wright

Keywords

Scripture

1 Peter 2:9, Galatians 6:2, Colossians 3:16, Romans 12:4-5, Acts 2:42-47, Ephesians 4:15-16

Far too many people, especially within evangelicalism, think that the individual is all that matters, and that the corporate dimension is a distraction or diversion. Of course Christianity is deeply p...

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Godwin's Law

Author

Stuart R. Strachan, Jr.

Keywords

Scripture

James 1:19-20, Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 18:21, Colossians 4:6, Proverbs 10:19, Matthew 12:36-37, Proverbs 29:11, 2 Timothy 2:23-24, Proverbs 17:27-28, James 3:5-6, Ecclesiastes 10:12-14, Psalm 141:3

Have you ever heard of Godwin's Law? While it may sound like some overly technical scientific hypothesis, it’s actually quite simple. Godwin's Law, first coined in 1990 by an an attorney and e...

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The Line Runs Through

Author

Fleming Rutledge

Keywords

Scripture

Colossians 3:12-14, 1 Peter 3:8-9, Philippians 2:3-4, James 1:19-20, Ephesians 4:2-3, Romans 12:16-18, Romans 3:23

In any polarized situation, the overriding human tendency is to draw a line with oneself and one’s allies on the good side and the opposing party on the wicked side, with very little attempt made by e...

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Author

Charles Williams

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 28:13, Matthew 6:14-15, 2 Corinthians 2:10-11, Luke 17:3-4, Ephesians 4:31-32, Colossians 3:13

Many promising reconciliations have broken down because, while both parties came prepared to forgive, neither party came prepared to be forgiven.

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God of mercy, in your gracious presence

Author

Austin D. Hill

Keywords

Scripture

Ephesians 4:32, Micah 7:18-19, Psalm 32:5, Colossians 1:13-14, 2 Chronicles 7:14, Isaiah 1:18, 1 John 1:9

God of mercy, in your gracious presence we confess our sin and the sin of this world. Although Christ is among us as our peace, we are a people divided against ourselves as we cling to the values of a...

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The Golden Result

Author

Ken Sande

Keywords

Scripture

1 John 1:9, Luke 6:37, Romans 12:10, Proverbs 15:1, Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:32, James 5:16

The Golden Result is a corollary to the Golden Rule, which calls us to do to others as we would have them do to us. The Golden Result says that people will usually treat us as we treat them. If we bla...

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Author

Benjamin Franklin

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 5:23-24, Proverbs 16:32, Colossians 3:8, Ephesians 4:26-27, Proverbs 15:18, Proverbs 14:29, James 1:19-20

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

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Rightly Tuning Grace and Truth

Author

Randy Alcorn

Keywords

Scripture

2 Samuel 12:1-13, Micah 6:8, Ephesians 4:15, Psalm 85:10, John 8:1-11, John 4:1-26

When a musical instrument’s strings go loose, it sounds awful. But you can also overtighten the strings, breaking them or creating discord. There’s a perfect tension to grace and truth, which makes th...

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Attacking Others, Hurting Jesus

Author

Lee Rhodes

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 25:40, Ephesians 4:31-32, Acts 9:1-6, Isaiah 53:5, Luke 23:34, John 8:1-11, Romans 5:8

A young lady named Sally took a seminary class taught by Professor Smith, who was known for his elaborate object lessons. One day Sally walked into class to find a large target placed on the wall, wit...

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The Biggest Problem in Communication

Author

George Bernard Shaw

Keywords

Communication

Scripture

Proverbs 25:11, Matthew 12:36, Proverbs 18:2, Colossians 4:6, Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 15:28, James 1:19

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

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Gracious God, we come before you with

Author

Laura B. Murray

Keywords

Scripture

2 Timothy 1:7, 1 John 4:18, Matthew 5:44, Ephesians 4:31-32, 1 Corinthians 16:14, Galatians 5:22-23, Colossians 3:12-14

Gracious God, we come before you with humility, recognizing that doubt has led our decisions. We have allowed fear to lead, rather than love. Because of this, we have been unkind to our families, our ...

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Changing Someone’s Mind (Isn’t Easy)

Author

Buster Benson

Keywords

Scripture

James 1:4, Proverbs 4:23, Isaiah 26:3, Colossians 3:2, Ephesians 4:22-24, Philippians 4:8

A mind is more like a pile of millions of little rocks than a single big boulder. To change a mind, we need to carry thousands of little rocks from one pile to another, one at a time. This is because ...

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Author

Tod E. Bolsinger

Keywords

Scripture

Psalm 15:1-2, Ephesians 4:15, 2 Corinthians 1:12, Colossians 3:12-14, Romans 12:9-10

Relational congruence is the ability to be fundamentally the same person with the same values in every relationship, in every circumstance and especially amidst crisis. It is the internal capacity to ...

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Contempt, a Prayer of Confession

Author

Lisa Ann Moss Degrenia

Keywords

Scripture

Ephesians 4:31-32, Matthew 5:44, Colossians 3:12-13, James 4:11, 1 Peter 2:1, Romans 12:10

Contempt is so painful To be dismissed, disregarded Questioning instead of dignity Accusation instead of personhood I have felt its sting and hollowness As have you, my Jesus Help me hear the needed m...

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Marking Your Enemies

Author

James Martin

Keywords

Scripture

Luke 6:37, Ephesians 4:31-32, Psalm 37:8, James 1:19-20, Colossians 3:13, Proverbs 15:1

One elderly monk in his community used to show his displeasure with other monks in a highly creative way. As you may know, most monastic communities chant the psalms several times a day together in ch...

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Harming Another Person’s Soul

Author

Richard J. Mouw

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 12:18, Exodus 20:16 , Leviticus 19:16–18, James 3:6–10, Ephesians 4:29 , Psalm 34:13–14

All that I ever really needed to know about uncivil language I learned in the fifth grade. At a small Dutch Calvinist school in a New Jersey city, I was playing with other students just before classes...

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The Victory of God

Author

Walter Brueggemann

Keywords

Scripture

1 Peter 3:9, Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:12-14, Luke 6:36, Romans 12:21, Matthew 5:7, Micah 6:8

The victory of God in our time over this deathly idolatry is hidden from us, as God’s decisive victory is always hidden from us. We do not know exactly when and where the victory has been wrought. It ...

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Disease is a Breakdown of Conversation in Our Bodies

Author

C. Christopher Smith

Keywords

Scripture

1 Corinthians 12:12-14, Romans 12:4-5, Ephesians 4:15-16, 1 Corinthians 1:10-17, James 3:5-6

Our bodies, created in the image of the Triune God, have much to teach us about the virtues of conversation. The human body is a wondrous symphony of diverse parts: 206 bones and over 600 muscles, con...

relationships and community on Controversy

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