Relationships and Community on Difficult People

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Author

Bob Goff

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 25:35-40, Luke 19:1-10, 1 Peter 3:9, Romans 12:20-21, Matthew 5:43-44, 1 John 4:18-19, Acts 7:

What I’m learning about love is that we have to tackle a good amount of fear to love people who are difficult. .

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Lord—There’s nothing You call us to do

Author

Richard Herman

Keywords

Scripture

John 14:27, Matthew 11:28-30, Romans 12:15, James 5:14-15, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, Psalm 23:1-3

Lord—There’s nothing You call us to do that you don’t equip us to do. You ask us to release those we care about to You–then You furnish the faith to give them to You who have the love and power to mak...

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Being Wrong

Author

Kathryn Schulz

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 23:12, 1 Corinthians 8:2-3, James 4:6, Isaiah 5:21, Romans 12:3, Proverbs 18:2, Proverbs 15:33, Psalm 18:27

In her aptly title book, Being Wrong , Kathleen Schulz describes just how difficult it is to be wrong: A whole lot of us go through life assuming that we are basically right, basically all the ti...

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Race and Friendship

Author

Stuart R. Strachan, Jr.

Keywords

Scripture

Colossians 3:11, 1 Corinthians 12:25-26, Romans 12:10, James 2:1, Galatians 3:28

In a 2009 stand-up special, Chris Rock made a funny, and perhaps true, statement: “All my black friends have a bunch of white friends. And all my white friends have one black friend.” It turns out, R...

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Put the World’s Enemies in a Room Together

Author

Lori Gottlieb

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 17:17, 1 Peter 3:8-9, Philippians 2:3-4, Romans 12:10, Colossians 3:12-13

During my training [as a therapist], a supervisor once told me, “There’s something likable in everyone,” and to my great surprise, I found that she was right. It’s impossible to get to know people dee...

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What Drives Success?

Author

Donald Miller

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 6:25-34, Galatians 1:10, Philippians 2:3-4, Matthew 23:1-12, Romans 12:2

In his book, Scary Close , Donald Miller acknowledges that over time he developed a mask, or a persona that kept even those closest to him from experiencing with him. As he began to peel back layers ...

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A Failure to Appreciate the Other’s Point of View

Author

John Stott

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 18:13, Matthew 18:16, Romans 12:18, Proverbs 20:3, Matthew 5:24

Most quarrels are due to a misunderstanding, and the misunderstanding is due to our failure to appreciate the other person’s point of view. It is more natural to us to talk than to listen, to argue th...

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How We Become Peacemakers

Author

Jerry Bridges

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 5:9, James 4:1-2, Ephesians 4:31-32, Colossians 3:12-13, Romans 12:18, 1 John 2:9-11

To become peacemakers, then, we must begin with ourselves. We must ask ourselves, “Why do I make cutting remarks to another person? Why do I make demeaning remarks about them?” We must also ask oursel...

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Dealing with Conflict Directly

Author

N. T. Wright

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 10:12, 2 Timothy 2:24-25, Romans 12:17-18, James 1:19-20, Proverbs 25:11-12, Galatians 6:1, Matthew 18:15

If someone has done something wrong even at a personal level, the right thing to do is not to gossip about it, not to tell everybody else, not to allow resentment to build up and fester, and certainly...

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The Conversational Topper

Author

Stuart R. Strachan, Jr.

Keywords

Scripture

James 1:9, Philippians 2:3-4, Proverbs 3:18, Romans 12:15, James 1:19

Have you ever been guilty of being a “conversational topper”? The topper is someone who, when another confides a challenge or shares an exciting event, immediately connects that event to their own li...

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Who Determines Your Behavior?

Author

The Pastor's Workshop

Keywords

Scripture

Romans 12:1, Matthew 5:44, Proverbs 15:1, 1 Peter 3:9, Luke 6:31, Galatians 6:9, Colossians 3:12-13, 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, Genesis 50:20, Philippians 2:3-4, James 1:19-20, 1 Samuel 24:17

Some years ago, the syndicated newspaper columnist Sidney J. Harris shared an interesting anecdote from one of his friends. Each evening, this friend would stop at the same newsstand to buy a newspape...

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Almighty God, harsh words and personal

Author

Laura B. Murray

Keywords

Scripture

1 Peter 3:9, Matthew 5:5, Romans 12:17-19, Colossians 3:12-14, Proverbs 15:1, Matthew 5:44, Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 18:21, Matthew 12:36

Almighty God, harsh words and personal attacks can bring out the worst in us. We find ourselves spending energy on thoughts of retaliation and plans to protect ourselves. Father forgive us. We long to...

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Who are You to Think You are Better than Our Lord?

Author

Madeline L'Engle

Keywords

Scripture

Romans 12:18, John 15:9-17

While exploring an experience of deep guilt and shame with her spiritual director, the author of Madeleine L’Engle, wrote One time I was talking to Canon Tallis, who is my spiritual director as we...

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The Line Runs Through: Sermon Illustration Tuesday

Author

Stuart R. Strachan, Jr.

Keywords

Forgiveness

Scripture

Romans 12:2, 1 Peter 3:8-9, Proverbs 4:23, Ephesians 6:12, Romans 7:21-23, Jeremiah 17:9

If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the lin...

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Learning Peacemaking Through the Dishes

Author

The Pastor's Workshop

Keywords

Scripture

Isaiah 2:4, Matthew 5:9, Romans 12:18, Ephesians 2:14

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks tells a true story in one of his books about peacemaking in what is arguably one of the world's most difficult places to achieve it: the Middle East. One evening in the early ...

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People are the Key to Organizational Change

Author

Rich Karlgaard and Michael S. Malone

Keywords

Scripture

Hebrews 12:1, James 1:5, Philippians 1:6, 2 Corinthians 4:16, Romans 12:2, Isaiah 55:8-9

Here is the uncomfortable truth: Humans run to a much slower evolutionary clock than our inventions. To use an engineering term, we are the “gating factor” that keeps a process from running faster. It...

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The Basis of Life

Author

John C. Maxwell

Keywords

Scripture

John 13:34-35, Philippians 2:3-4, Romans 12:9-10, Colossians 3:12-14, 1 Thessalonians 5:11

The basis of life is people and how they relate to each other. Our success, fulfillment, and happiness depend upon our ability to relate effectively. The best way to become a person that others are dr...

Quote

Author

Eleanor Doan

Keywords

Scripture

1 John 4:7-8, Luke 19:1-10, Matthew 8:5-13, Proverbs 25:21-22, Romans 12:20-21, Luke 6:27-28, Matthew 5:43-44

Love your enemy-it will drive him nuts.

Quote

Author

Bob Goff

Keywords

Scripture

Philippians 2:3-4, Galatians 2:20, James 1:19-20, Romans 12:3, Proverbs 15:1, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Matthew 11:28

Arguments won’t change people. Simply giving away kindness won’t either. Only Jesus has the power to change people, and it will be harder for them to see Jesus if their view of Him is blocked by our b...

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The Golden Result

Author

Ken Sande

Keywords

Scripture

1 John 1:9, Luke 6:37, Romans 12:10, Proverbs 15:1, Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:32, James 5:16

The Golden Result is a corollary to the Golden Rule, which calls us to do to others as we would have them do to us. The Golden Result says that people will usually treat us as we treat them. If we bla...

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The Happiness Effect

Author

Craig Detweiler

Keywords

Scripture

Romans 12:15, John 16:33, Matthew 5:4, Psalm 34:18, Ecclesiastes 3:4

After surveying an incredibly diverse cross section of college students across America, Donna Freitas found “the most pressing social media issues students face: the importance of appearing happy”—and...

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The Line Runs Through

Author

Fleming Rutledge

Keywords

Scripture

Colossians 3:12-14, 1 Peter 3:8-9, Philippians 2:3-4, James 1:19-20, Ephesians 4:2-3, Romans 12:16-18, Romans 3:23

In any polarized situation, the overriding human tendency is to draw a line with oneself and one’s allies on the good side and the opposing party on the wicked side, with very little attempt made by e...

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The Nebulous "They"

Author

The Pastor's Workshop

Keywords

Scripture

Galatians 1:10, Colossians 3:23, Psalm 139:13-14, Proverbs 29:25, Romans 8:31, 1 Thessalonians 2:4, 1 Samuel 16:7, Romans 12:2, John 1:12

George Herbert Mead, an influential early 20th-century sociologist, coined the term “generalized other” to describe the vague group we consider when shaping our actions. How often do we behave a certa...

Quote

Author

Ronald A. Heifetz, Marty Linsky, Alexander Grashow

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 19:11, Romans 12:21, Isaiah 50:7, Nehemiah 6:3, Galatians 1:10

When you take "personal" attacks personally, you unwittingly conspire in one of the common ways you can be taken out of action-you make yourself the issue. Attacks may be personal, understan...

Quote

Author

Bob Goff

Keywords

Scripture

1 John 4:20-21, Luke 19:1-10, Matthew 8:5-13, Luke 10:25-37, Proverbs 25:21-22, Romans 12:20-21

Jesus said to love our enemies. I thought I’d get off easy because I don’t have any real “enemies.” I mean, I’m not mad at North Korea or Russia or China. And I don’t think they’re mad at me. After al...

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God our Father We confess to you and to

Author

Jacob Traeger

Keywords

Scripture

James 1:19-20, Proverbs 15:1, Romans 12:17-21, Matthew 5:38-39, Luke 6:35-36, Matthew 18:21-35, Matthew 5:43-44, 1 Peter 3:9, Genesis 45:4-8

God our Father We confess to you and to one another That we have been quick to anger And slow to mercy We have paid back abuse with abuse Hatred with hatred And violence with violence The world does n...

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Sometimes Easy, Sometimes Hard

Author

C. S. Lewis

Keywords

Scripture

Philippians 3:7-8, Galatians 2:20, Romans 12:1-2, John 12:24-25, Matthew 7:14, Luke 14:27, Matthew 11:28-30

You have noticed, I expect, that Christ Himself sometimes describes the Christian way as very hard, sometimes as very easy. He says, “Take up your Cross”—in other words, it is like going to be beaten ...

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The Echo of an Argument

Author

John Ortberg

Keywords

Scripture

2 Corinthians 5:18, Psalm 34:18, Romans 12:18, James 1:19-20, Proverbs 15:1, Matthew 6:14-15, Colossians 3:13

Philip Yancey writes of a friend whose marriage was choked by hostility. One night the friend reached the breaking point: “I hate you!” he screamed at his wife. “I won’t take it any more. I’ve had eno...

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Dwelling with Those We Love

Author

The Pastor's Workshop

Keywords

Scripture

Genesis 37:45, Numbers 12:, Ruth 1:4, Romans 12:9–21, Matthew 18:21–35, Psalm 133:

An Irish church once had a humorous yet insightful motto that gets at the heart of the pain that often accompanies our relationships: “To dwell above with those we love will certainly be glory. But to...

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The Fruit of a Productive Disagreement

Author

Buster Benson

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 17:22, Romans 12:10, Proverbs 27:17, Proverbs 15:22, Matthew 11:15

A productive disagreement yields fruit: the fruit of security, by removing a threat, reducing a risk, resulting in a deal, or concluding with a decision; the fruit of growth, by revealing new informat...

relationships and community on Difficult People

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