Relationships and Community on Quarreling

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The Two Sides of Forgiveness

Author

Keywords

Scripture

Genesis 50:15-21, Exodus 34:6-7, Micah 7:18-19, Luke 7:36-50 , Matthew 18:21-35, Psalm 103:10-12

There are two sides to forgiveness: giving and receiving. Although at first sight giving seems to be harder, it often appears that we are not able to offer forgiveness to others because we have not be...

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A Failure to Appreciate the Other’s Point of View

Author

John Stott

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 18:13, Matthew 18:16, Romans 12:18, Proverbs 20:3, Matthew 5:24

Most quarrels are due to a misunderstanding, and the misunderstanding is due to our failure to appreciate the other person’s point of view. It is more natural to us to talk than to listen, to argue th...

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Be Slow to Sue

Author

Antonin Scalia

Keywords

Scripture

1 Corinthians 6:1-8, Matthew 18:15-17, Romans 12:18, James 3:17-18, Proverbs 15:1

Former Supreme Court Associate Justice Antonin Scalia argues how Christians ought to resolve conflict based on 1 Corinthians 6: I think this passage [1 Cor. 6:1–8] has something to say about the pro...

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Dealing with Conflict Directly

Author

N. T. Wright

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 10:12, 2 Timothy 2:24-25, Romans 12:17-18, James 1:19-20, Proverbs 25:11-12, Galatians 6:1, Matthew 18:15

If someone has done something wrong even at a personal level, the right thing to do is not to gossip about it, not to tell everybody else, not to allow resentment to build up and fester, and certainly...

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Confrontation Defined

Author

Henry Cloud & John Townsend

Keywords

Scripture

Genesis 32:22-32, Exodus 5:1-21, 2 Samuel 12:1-14, Matthew 18:15-17, John 21:15-19, Psalm 141:5

The Latin term for confrontation means “to turn your face toward, to look at frontally.” It merely indicates that you are turning toward the relationship and the person. You are face-to-face, so to sp...

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Responding to Criticism

Author

Cody Sandahl

Keywords

Scripture

Mark 9:42-47, Matthew 18:1-10, Luke 17:1-4

As a pastor, I have received my fair share of letters and missives criticizing my words or actions. Some have been anonymous, others put their name on it. When the criticism felt unfair or angered me,...

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R.C. Sproul & The Social Pariah

Author

Stuart R. Strachan, Jr.

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 6:14-15, Matthew 18:21-35, Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:13, John 8:10-11, Psalm 103:12, Isaiah 1:18

The pastor R.C. Sproul was studying in the Netherlands in the last 1960s and randomly struck up a conversation with a Dutch woman. The conversation was a common, enjoyable interaction, but when it was...

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Turning from Conflict to Conversion

Author

The Pastor's Workshop

Keywords

Scripture

Jonah 1:4, Luke 15:11-32, Matthew 18:21-35, Psalm 34:8, Romans 8:28

Maltbie D. Babcock, author of This Is My Father’s World and a Presbyterian pastor in Brooklyn, introduced a free pew system in his church, upsetting a wealthy woman who found strangers in her us...

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Permission to Speak Freely

Author

Stuart R. Strachan, Jr.

Keywords

Scripture

1 Thessalonians 5:11, Ephesians 4:15, Proverbs 27:5-6, Colossians 4:6, Proverbs 3:7, Proverbs 25:11, Ezekiel 33:6, Matthew 18:15

If you’ve ever watched a war movie, or a film that takes place in the military, you’re likely to have encountered a specific scene, in which a subordinate will have something to tell a senior officer ...

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Author

Kenneth E. Bailey

Keywords

Scripture

Mark 11:25, Matthew 6:12-15, Matthew 18:21-22, Luke 6:37, Luke 6:27, Luke 17:3-4, Luke 23:34, Matthew 26:28, Matthew 5:23-24, Matthew 5:44

Jesus is a reconciler of people, not a divider. He wants to bring people together, not finalize separations.

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Holy Spirit, you have come to reconcile

Author

Chip Hardwick

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 6:14-15, Ephesians 4:31-32, Colossians 3:12-13, 2 Corinthians 5:18-19, Psalm 139:23-24, Matthew 18:21-35

Holy Spirit, you have come to reconcile us to each other, but we resist your work to bind us together. We hold onto grudges. Even though we know God has forgiven us in Jesus Christ, we are slow to for...

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God our Father We confess to you and to

Author

Jacob Traeger

Keywords

Scripture

James 1:19-20, Proverbs 15:1, Romans 12:17-21, Matthew 5:38-39, Luke 6:35-36, Matthew 18:21-35, Matthew 5:43-44, 1 Peter 3:9, Genesis 45:4-8

God our Father We confess to you and to one another That we have been quick to anger And slow to mercy We have paid back abuse with abuse Hatred with hatred And violence with violence The world does n...

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Forgive

Author

Helmut Thielicke

Keywords

Scripture

Romans 12:20-21, Luke 23:34, Matthew 18:21-22, Luke 6:37, Mark 11:25

“What happens here may be expressed by the quite simple and yet unfathomable word, ‘forgive.’ What occurs when I forgive another person? It does not mean . . . that I can ‘forget’ what he did to me. I...

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Author

Eugene Peterson

Keywords

Parables

Scripture

Luke 15:11-32, Matthew 18:22-35, Luke 16:19-31, Matthew 13:3-8, Matthew 20:1-16, Matthew 13:24-33, Matthew 13:44-50, Mark 4:26-29

The Parable is a form of speech that has a style all of its own. It is a way of saying something that requires the imaginative participation of the listener. Inconspicuously, even surreptitiously, a p...

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Lord, we confess that we do not love

Author

Jacob Traeger

Keywords

Scripture

Isaiah 57:15, Psalm 42:1-2, 2 Corinthians 8:9, Matthew 18:3-4, Lamentations 3:22-23, Matthew 5:3-12, Luke 19:1-10

Lord, we confess that we do not love you with our whole hearts And we do not love our neighbour as ourselves. We seek the blessing of others Rather than the blessing of your grace We seek comfort in w...

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Not Until After My Death

Author

Stuart R. Strachan, Jr.

Keywords

Scripture

Genesis 45:1-15, Matthew 18:21-35, Ephesians 4:32, Romans 5:10, Mark 11:25, Colossians 3:13, Matthew 5:44

Frederick William I was a king of Prussia in the early 18th century. Personality-wise, he was described as exacting, frugal and austere. He was known to beat his children when they disappointed him. H...

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Author

Wendell Berry

Keywords

Scripture

Psalm 133:1, Genesis 1:31, 1 Peter 4:10, Romans 12:4-5, Matthew 18:20, 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Healing is impossible in loneliness; it is the opposite of loneliness. Conviviality is healing. To be healed we must come with all the other creatures to the feast of Creation.

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When Scandals Become Blasé

Author

Jonathan K. Dodson

Keywords

Scripture

Hebrews 13:4, Matthew 18:6-10

In his thoughtful book, Our Good Crisis: Overcoming Moral Chaos with the Beatitudes , Jonathan K. Dodson describes what has become a reality of modern-day life-scandals happen every day, and no-one...

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Author

Kevin Keith

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 18:21-35, Luke 17:3-4, Colossians 3:9, 23-24, Ephesians 4:25, Proverbs 10:9, Proverbs 12:22, Proverbs 24:26, Proverbs 6:17, 1 Peter 3:10-12, Luke 6:35, Acts 20:35

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you w...

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From Spitting to Hugging

Keywords

Forgiveness

Scripture

Proverbs 19:11, Matthew 18:21-22, Romans 12:17-21, Luke 6:37, Mark 11:25

On a Saturday afternoon in May, 13-year-old Michael Hirschbeck quickly donned his Cleveland batboy uniform and then went looking for his friend. That friend was Roberto Alomar, second baseman for the ...

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For several years, Jason and I nurtured

Author

Bryan C. Loritts

Keywords

Scripture

Genesis 50:15-21, 1 Samuel 24:1-12, Micah 7:18-19, Matthew 18:21-35, Ephesians 4:31-32, Psalm 103:10-12

For several years, Jason and I nurtured a friendship that led us to decide to work together because we knew each other so well. But things soon became complicated between us. I began to notice some tr...

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Author

Oscar Wilde

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 18:21-22, Acts 3:19, 1 John 1:9, Mark 11:25, Luke 17:3-4, Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:32

Always forgive your enemies -- nothing annoys them so much.

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Dwelling with Those We Love

Author

The Pastor's Workshop

Keywords

Scripture

Genesis 37:45, Numbers 12:, Ruth 1:4, Romans 12:9–21, Matthew 18:21–35, Psalm 133:

An Irish church once had a humorous yet insightful motto that gets at the heart of the pain that often accompanies our relationships: “To dwell above with those we love will certainly be glory. But to...

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A Question of Motivation

Author

The Pastor's Workshop

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 22:6, Hosea 1:1-4, Matthew 18:1-5, Ephesians 6:4, Psalm 127:3

There’s a story about philosopher John Dewey walking with his young son on a cold, wet, and windy day. The boy, barefoot, was gleefully splashing in a puddle despite the weather. A concerned friend pa...

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Desperate for Attention

Author

Ashley Hales

Keywords

Scripture

Genesis 16:13, Exodus 33:14, Isaiah 49:15–16, Matthew 18:3–4, Luke 15:20–24, Psalm 139:1–3

We’re little children wandering the aisles of the internet because we’ve lost the presence of our loving parent. We are desperate for the attention of a good Father who sees us. We have no idea how to...

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Author

Helen Keller

Keywords

Scripture

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, 1 Corinthians 12:12, Hebrews 10:24-25, Romans 12:4-5, Philippians 2:2, Matthew 18:20

Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much. While they were saying among themselves it cannot be done, it was done.

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Author

Andree Seu Peterson

Keywords

Forgiveness

Scripture

Matthew 18:21-22, 1 John 1:9, Psalm 32:1, Mark 11:25, Luke 6:37, Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:32

I asked a few people if they’d ever forgiven anyone and what it felt like. They gave me answers so pious I knew they’d never done it…Forgiveness is a brutal mathematical transaction done with fully en...

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Author

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Keywords

Scripture

Romans 5:8, John 21:15-19, Jonah 3:4, Matthew 18:21-35, 2 Samuel 12:1-7, Romans 14:10-13, James 4:11-12

Judging others makes us blind, whereas love is illuminating. By judging others we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as we are.

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Prayer of St. Chrysostom

Author

John Chrysostom

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 18:20

Almighty God, you have given us grace at this time with one accord to make our common supplication to you; and you have promised through your well-beloved Son that when two or three are gathered toget...

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Forgiveness Among Americans, a Study

Author

Fetzer Institute

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 18:21-22, Matthew 6:14-15, Luke 17:3-4, Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:13

According to a study performed in 2010 by the Fetzer Institute: Sixty-seven percent of Americans agree that the US population is composed of generally forgiving people, but 58% also agree that ther...

relationships and community on Quarreling

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