Matthew 6:14-15, Ephesians 4:31-32, Colossians 3:13, Romans 12:17-21, 1 Peter 3:9, Proverbs 19:11, Luke 17:3-4
There’s a story about a traveler making his way with a guide through the jungles of Burma. They came to a shallow but wide river and waded through it to the other side. When the traveler came out of t...
Colossians 3:12-13, Matthew 5:44, Ecclesiastes 7:9, Philippians 2:3-4, James 3:17, Proverbs 15:1, 2 Timothy 2:24-25
The key word in our definition of a disagreement (an unacceptable difference between two perspectives), isn’t “difference.” It’s “unacceptable.” Once the clash between perspectives becomes unacceptabl...
Colossians 3:12-14, 1 Peter 3:8-9, Philippians 2:3-4, James 1:19-20, Ephesians 4:2-3, Romans 12:16-18, Romans 3:23
In any polarized situation, the overriding human tendency is to draw a line with oneself and one’s allies on the good side and the opposing party on the wicked side, with very little attempt made by e...
Relational congruence is the ability to be fundamentally the same person with the same values in every relationship, in every circumstance and especially amidst crisis. It is the internal capacity to ...
1 John 1:9, Luke 6:37, Romans 12:10, Proverbs 15:1, Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:32, James 5:16
The Golden Result is a corollary to the Golden Rule, which calls us to do to others as we would have them do to us. The Golden Result says that people will usually treat us as we treat them. If we bla...
Matthew 5:9, James 4:1-2, Ephesians 4:31-32, Colossians 3:12-13, Romans 12:18, 1 John 2:9-11
To become peacemakers, then, we must begin with ourselves. We must ask ourselves, “Why do I make cutting remarks to another person? Why do I make demeaning remarks about them?” We must also ask oursel...
During my training [as a therapist], a supervisor once told me, “There’s something likable in everyone,” and to my great surprise, I found that she was right. It’s impossible to get to know people dee...
Anxiety sparks when a perspective we value bumps into another perspective that challenges it in some way. If we find this new perspective to be unacceptable, that’s when our “Someone is wrong on the i...
2 Corinthians 5:18, Psalm 34:18, Romans 12:18, James 1:19-20, Proverbs 15:1, Matthew 6:14-15, Colossians 3:13
Philip Yancey writes of a friend whose marriage was choked by hostility. One night the friend reached the breaking point: “I hate you!” he screamed at his wife. “I won’t take it any more. I’ve had eno...
1 Peter 3:9, Matthew 5:5, Romans 12:17-19, Colossians 3:12-14, Proverbs 15:1, Matthew 5:44, Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 18:21, Matthew 12:36
Almighty God, harsh words and personal attacks can bring out the worst in us. We find ourselves spending energy on thoughts of retaliation and plans to protect ourselves. Father forgive us. We long to...
Romans 5:10, Matthew 5:44, Luke 23:34, Mark 11:25, Colossians 3:13
In the Middle East both the main protagonists embrace religions where forgiveness has never been seen as a duty, let alone as a virtue, but rather as a kind of moral weakness—and by “moral weakness” I...
Colossians 3:13, Luke 17:3-4, Matthew 5:23-24, Psalm 32:5, Acts 3:19, Proverbs 28:13, 1 John 1:9
In The Essential Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson, the cartoon character Calvin says to his tiger friend, Hobbes, “I feel bad that I called Susie names and hurt her feelings. I’m sorry I did it.” ...
Matthew 6:14-15, Ephesians 4:31-32, Colossians 3:12-13, 2 Corinthians 5:18-19, Psalm 139:23-24, Matthew 18:21-35
Holy Spirit, you have come to reconcile us to each other, but we resist your work to bind us together. We hold onto grudges. Even though we know God has forgiven us in Jesus Christ, we are slow to for...
2 Corinthians 5:18-19, Matthew 6:14-15, Romans 12:18, Matthew 5:23-24, Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:32
God has given us all a message of reconciliation-that God, in Christ, has reconciled the world to himself (2 Corinthians 5:18-19). The first place we are invited to practice this reconciliation is wit...
I can no longer condemn or hate a brother for whom I pray; no matter how much trouble he causes me. His face, that hitherto may have been strange and intolerable to me, is transformed in intercession ...
Colossians 3:13, Matthew 5:7, Micah 4:2-3, Isaiah 11:4, Romans 12:17-18
Jesus offers a new sort of justice, a creative, healing, restorative justice. The old justice found in the Bible was designed to prevent revenge running away with itself. Better an eye for an eye and ...
Psalm 32:5, James 5:16, Romans 12:17-21, Luke 6:37, Mark 11:25, Colossians 3:13
Corrie ten Boom told of not being able to forget a wrong that had been done to her. She had forgiven the person, but she kept rehashing the incident and so couldn’t sleep. Finally Corrie cried out to ...
Ernest Hemingway grasped some of the difficulty that characterizes relationships between fathers and sons in his short story, The Capital of the World . The story revolves around a father and his t...
James 5:16, 2 Corinthians 5:18-19, Luke 6:37, Colossians 3:13, Luke 17:3-4
In November of 1990, as the long struggle for freedom in South Africa was reaching its climax, a group of black and white spiritual leaders from almost all the churches in that land met at a hotel out...
Matthew 6:14-15, Ephesians 4:31-32, Colossians 3:13, Philippians 3:13-14, Isaiah 43:18-19
After the Civil War, in an incident recounted by Charles Flood in Lee: The Last Years, Robert E. Lee visited a woman who took him to the remains of a grand old tree in front of her home. There she cri...
A mind is more like a pile of millions of little rocks than a single big boulder. To change a mind, we need to carry thousands of little rocks from one pile to another, one at a time. This is because ...
Sharan Merriam and Carolyn Clark, in their fine study Lifelines , effectively show that life is fundamentally about two things—our work and our relationships. And maturity is found in having the c...
Romans 12:1, Matthew 5:44, Proverbs 15:1, 1 Peter 3:9, Luke 6:31, Galatians 6:9, Colossians 3:12-13, 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, Genesis 50:20, Philippians 2:3-4, James 1:19-20, 1 Samuel 24:17
Some years ago, the syndicated newspaper columnist Sidney J. Harris shared an interesting anecdote from one of his friends. Each evening, this friend would stop at the same newsstand to buy a newspape...
Leader: Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience All: bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against an...
Proverbs 16:7, James 3:17-18, Matthew 6:14-15, Colossians 3:13, 2 Corinthians 5:18-19, Romans 12:18
In her book Family Ministry, Diana Garland relates the following account by R.L. Honeycutt on the origin of the Irish expression “Chancing one’s arm”: On display in St. Patrick’s cathedral in Dublin...
Matthew 6:14-15, Matthew 18:21-35, Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:13, John 8:10-11, Psalm 103:12, Isaiah 1:18
The pastor R.C. Sproul was studying in the Netherlands in the last 1960s and randomly struck up a conversation with a Dutch woman. The conversation was a common, enjoyable interaction, but when it was...