Analogies on Funerals

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An Unforgettable Funeral

Author

Keywords

Scripture

Matthew 16:26, Luke 12:16-21, Ecclesiastes 5:10-15, Matthew 6:19-21, Luke 12:15, 1 Timothy 6:7, Mark 10:24-25

I heard of a funeral in California where a man requested to be buried seated behind the wheel of a brand new Cadillac, dressed in a tuxedo, with a two-dollar cigar in his mouth. He left the money to i...

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Stay Out of Those!

Author

Source Unknown

Keywords

A very old man lay dying in his bed. In death’s doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himsel...

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A Widow at the Funeral

Author

Source Unknown

Keywords

Sam died and left $50,000 in his will for an elaborate funeral. As the last attenders left, Sam’s wife, Rose, turned to her oldest friend, Sadie, and said, “Well, I’m sure Sam would be pleased.” “I’...

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Communism Had Nothing to Say about Death

Author

Source Unknown

Keywords

Scripture

Ecclesiastes 2:14-16, Isaiah 25:6-9, Ezekiel 37:1-10 , Psalm 49:12-15, John 11:25-26, 1 Corinthians 15:54-57

During the second world war, [the British statesman] Sir John Laurence attended what he describes as “a sort of Communist memorial service” to " Stanislavsky (the seminal Soviet Theatre pr...

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The Great, Perfect Box

Author

Jerry Seinfeld

Keywords

Scripture

Ephesians 3:1-2, James 4:13-14, Job 14:1-2, 2 Corinthians 5:1, Philippians 3:13-14, Psalm 90:12

To me, if life boils down to one significant thing, it’s movement. To live is to keep moving. Unfortunately, this means that for the rest of our lives we’re going to be looking for boxes. When you’re ...

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Rather Be in the Casket

Author

Jerry Seinfeld

Keywords

I saw a study that said, the number one fear of the average person is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two! How in the world is that? That means to most people, if you have to go ...

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The Arrogant General

Author

The Pastor's Workshop

Keywords

Scripture

Proverbs 27:2, Matthew 6:1-4, Ecclesiastes 1:14, Luke 18:9-14, James 4:14, Isaiah 14:12-15, Daniel 4:28-37, Luke 18:9-14, James 4:6, Obadiah 1:3-4

Abraham Lincoln’s sharp wit often surfaced, even in serious moments. At the funeral of a talented but overly vain Army General during the Civil War, Lincoln observed the large crowd that had gathered....

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A Sinner or Saint?

Author

Source Unknown

Keywords

I heard about a pastor who was asked by a man in the community to do his brother’s funeral. Neither of the men had been churchgoers or showed any religious inclinations. The man offered to give $25,00...

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A True Friend

Author

Stuart R. Strachan, Jr.

Keywords

Scripture

Romans 12:9-10, Luke 6:31, John 15:13, Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, Proverbs 27:9, Proverbs 27:6, Proverbs 17:17

The [true] story is told that Voltaire, the French Enlightenment philosopher, was speaking at the funeral of an aristocrat. In the speech he declared, “He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal ...

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Martin Luther King Jr. on Achievements

Author

Will Willimon

Keywords

Scripture

Ephesians 1:11-14, Colossians 3:14, 1 John 4:7-8, John 13:34-35, Romans 13:8, Matthew 22:37-39, Galatians 5:6

Not long before his death, Martin Luther King Jr. spoke to the congregation at Atlanta’s Ebenezer Baptist Church: If any of you are around when I have to meet my day, I don’t want a long funeral. An...

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Just a stain in the soil

Author

William Rowley

Keywords

Scripture

Genesis 3:19, Ecclesiastes 3:20, Genesis 18:27, James 4:14, Psalm 90:12, Psalm 39:4, 1 Peter 2:24-25, Psalm 90:10, Psalm 78:39, 1 Chronicles 29:15, Psalm 39:5, Psalm 144:4, Job 14:1, Psalm 103:15-16, Job 7:6-7, Genesis 2:7

I love a British TV show called Time Team. Hosted by Tony Robinson, a team of archeologists descend on a site in Britain and excavate for three days. Inevitably, the archeologists unearth the dead...

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Where Were the Humanists?

Author

Timothy Keller

Keywords

Scripture

1 Thessalonians 4:13-14, Isaiah 41:10, Revelation 21:4, John 14:1-3, Romans 8:38-39, Psalm 34:18, 2 Corinthians 5:1

Not long after the December 2012 Newtown shootings, and all the speeches by civic leaders, memorial services, and funerals were over, Samuel G. Freedman wrote a column in The New York Times titled “In...

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The Greatest Preacher in Atlanta

Author

Paul E. Hopkins

Keywords

Scripture

1 Thessalonians 2:7-8, John 10:42-45, Mark 10:42-45, Romans 12:15, John 15:5, 1 Peter 5:2-3

Retired professor of homiletics Fred Craddock suggests a different vision of fruitfulness. Fred told me a story about a friend of his who wanted Craddock to go with him to hear “the greatest preacher ...

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The Emperor of the United States

Author

Andy Cook

Keywords

Did you know the United States once had an emperor? Believe it or not, it’s true – at least, it was in the rather confused mind of Joshua A. Norton. Norton lived in San Francisco during the gold-rush...

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Talking to God During Great Grief

Author

Austin Fischer

Keywords

Scripture

Job 1:null

The first funeral I officiated was for an eighteen-year-old girl killed in a car accident. To this day I’ve never experienced a more difficult funeral. And as I spoke and looked out into a sea of grie...

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The Church's Funeral

Author

Stuart R. Strachan, Jr.

Keywords

Scripture

1 Corinthians 12:12-27, Ephesians 4:15-16, Revelation 3:1-3, James 2:17, Matthew 16:18, Hebrews 10:24-25, 1 Peter 2:4-5, Romans 12:4-5, Acts 2:42-47, 1 Corinthians 3:9

The story goes about a young man (or woman!) with dreams of growing a small church nestled in rural Oklahoma. Despite his relentless efforts, the church continued to teeter on the edge of extinction a...

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The Two Orders

Author

John Ortberg

Keywords

There is an old story about a florist who mixed up two orders one busy day. One arrangement went to a new business that was opening, and the other went to a family who had a death. The man with the ne...

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The Community Held Him

Author

Richard Plass and James Cofield

Keywords

Suffering

My first recollection of real suffering occurred when I (Rich) was about eight and my uncle had died of leukemia. When Uncle Art finally succumbed, my parents brought me along with two of my sisters t...

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Surprise Me!

Author

The Pastor's Workshop

Keywords

* This story is likely untrue, but a funny anecdote nonetheless It’s difficult sometimes to think we won’t live forever. A wealthy man who had made his fortune and spent many years in New York p...

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All the Succession of Time

Author

Jeremy Taylor

Keywords

All the succession of time, all the changes in nature, all the varieties of light and darkness, the thousand thousands of accidents in the world, and every contingency to every one, preaches our funer...

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Platitudes not Necessary

Author

Andy Cook

Keywords

Writer Harriet Sarnoff Schiff has distilled her pain and tragedy in a book called The Bereaved Parent. When her young son died during an operation to correct a congenital heart malfunction, her clergy...

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Moving the Fence

Author

Mike Yaconelli

Keywords

Scripture

Luke 19:1-10, Galatians 3:28, Romans 3:22-24, Ephesians 2:14, Acts 10:9-48, Luke 10:25-37, John 4:4-26

In the Second World War, a group of soldiers were fighting in the rural countryside of France. During an intense battle, one of the American soldiers was killed. His comrades did not want to leave his...

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A Time to Lament

Author

N. T. Wright

Keywords

In a time of acute crisis, when death sneaks into houses and shops, when you may feel healthy yourself but you may be carrying the virus without knowing it, when every stranger on the street is a thre...

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How Do You Mourn?

Author

Jonathan K. Dodson

Keywords

In his thoughtful book, Our Good Crisis: Overcoming Moral Chaos with the Beatitudes , Jonathan K. Dodson asks an important question: how do you mourn the losses in your life: How do you mourn? ...

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Who Else?

Author

Nancy Ortberg

Keywords

Grief

A good friend of mine lost her child recently. Unspeakable, seismic sadness. When she called, I listened in stunned silence as she told me what had happened. My mind was racing, trying to comprehend t...

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Death and Life in Your Hands

Author

Harold L. Senkbe

Keywords

Let’s call her Roberta; she was clearly near the end of a very long journey toward death’s door. Roberta’s cancer was a particularly nasty variety; by now it had eaten its way into most of her vital o...

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Words You Hoped You Would Never Say

Author

Max Lucado

Keywords

Discouragement

“Why our son?” are the only words you can muster. The funeral is over and the words of comfort have been politely said. Now it is just you, your memories, and your question, “Why me?” “The tests were...

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Christ, Too, Experienced Death

Author

Matthew Y. Emerson

Keywords

Scripture

John 11:25-26, 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14, Romans 6:4, 1 Corinthians 15:20-22, 2 Corinthians 4:14

What, as Christians, can we say to those who face death, either their own or that of their loved ones? We certainly can give them the hope of Christ’s resurrection, if they or their loved one has trus...

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Where Are You Calling From?

Author

Randy Frazee

Keywords

Scripture

Ephesians 2:1, Colossians 2:13, Romans 6:11, John 5:24, Galatians 2:20, Ezekiel 37:

A businessman, while away on vacation, was reading his hometown newspaper. He was stunned to come across his own obituary. Shocked and angered, he immediately called the editor on the telephone. I’m c...

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A Meditation on Loss

Author

Gerald L. Sittser

Keywords

Jerry Sittser, who experienced the terrible tragedy of losing a mother, a wife, and a daughter in the same car accident, wrote these poignant words on loss: Loss creates a barren present, as if on...

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