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A Comedian Responds to a Lawyer
After a great act by the comedian George Ade, a renowned lawyer took his turn to speak. He began by commenting on Ade’s performance: “Doesn’t it strike the company as a little unusual that a professio... -
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Sherlock Holmes and Watson Go Camping
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me wh... -
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An Interesting Depiction
At one point in his life, the famous modern artist Pablo Picasso was robbed in his French home. He told the police he would be happy to paint them a picture of the robbers. “And on the strength of tha... -
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Where is the Money?
Years ago, the story goes, a San Diego bank hired a private investigator to track down a bank robber and retrieve stolen funds. The search led to Mexico. The investigator crossed the border and then, ... -
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My Gift to You
One day, the famous surrealist painter Salvador Dalí walked into a New York bookstore and asked for a copy of his own autobiography, The Secret Life of Salvador Dalí . The young clerk immediately... -
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Daughter Cheating?
As a committed Southern Baptist, president Jimmy Carter was often questioned by reporters on a variety of moral issues. One day, a reporter asked, “How would you feel if you were told that your daught... -
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Always forgive your enemies -- nothing annoys them so much. -
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Bureaucracy is the art of making the possible impossible. -
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Sleeping Well
Caesar Augustus, the first Roman emperor, had quite the sharp wit. After hearing about a Roman nobleman who had passed away with enormous debts (which were kept private throughout his lifetime), he se... -
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The Obstinate Lighthouse
A radio conversation between a US naval vessel and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland. Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. Canadians: R... -
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The Jumper and the Officer
“A man was about to jump off a bridge when a police officer caught him, right in the nick of time. The man was angry…’don’t you know I have nothing to live for’. Why would you stop me from taking my o... -
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A Smart-Aleck Question and Answer
They say that in Martin Luther’s class on Genesis, a smart aleck student asked, “Dr. Luther, since you know so much about the book of Genesis, tell us: what was God doing all that time before God crea... -
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Weird Laws (Real)
If a frog dies during a frog-jumping contest in California, it can’t be eaten. In Florida, there’s no dwarf-tossing allowed. In Indiana, liquor stores can’t sell chilled water or soda In Minnesota,... -
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At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted? -
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What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin. -
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Nothing is ever done until everyone is convinced that it ought to be done, and has been convinced for so long that it is now time to do something else. -
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George Harrison memorial tree, killed by beetles -
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“In Silence”
Archelaus the 5th century (BC) king of Macedon, was once having his hair cut. His barber, quite verbose like many others in his profession, asked King Archelaus how he would like his hair cut. His res... -
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I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation. -
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Peter Ustinov and the School Letter
Peter Ustinov, the British actor, director, and playwright, once received an indignant letter from the headmaster of his son’s school. The letter complained that his son frequently disrupted lessons b... -
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The Rabbi and the Cardinal
The story is told of a (true) encounter that took place between the Chief Rabbi of London, a Mr. Hermann Adler, and the Catholic Cardinal Herbert Vaughan at some formal luncheon. According to accounts... -
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An Unexpected Friendship
Sometimes moments of forgiveness and friendship come from unexpected places. In 2018, the comedian Pete Davidson appeared on the “Weekend Update” segment of Saturday Night Live (SNL). Davidson made a ... -
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From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere. -
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Someone is suing Canada Dry Ginger Ale because it contains no ginger, so I’d like to formally announce my lawsuit against Panda Express. -
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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. -
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In the beginning, the universe was created. This has been widely regarded as a bad move. (for contrast, and humor) -
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“Neil!”
Neil Marten was a member of the British Parliament from 1959-1984. One day he was giving a group of constituents a guided tour of the Houses of Parliament. During the tour, the group happened upon the... -
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Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. -
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"Love! The walks over soft grass, the smiles over candlelight, the arguments over everything else." -
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Transformed by an Elevator
A family from a remote area was making their first visit to a big city. They checked in to a grand hotel and stood in amazement at the impressive sight. Leaving the reception desk they came to the ele...
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