humor on Distraction

Peter Ustinov, the British actor, director, and playwright, once received an indignant letter from the headmaster of his son’s school. The letter complained that his son frequently disrupted lessons b...

It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go

Scott Weems, author of Ha! The Science of When We Laugh and Why, explains that humor stems from our brains being confused about how to respond, which is why we often laugh at inappropriate times. “Wha...

A radio conversation between a US naval vessel and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland. Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. Canadians: R...

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

Nothing is ever done until everyone is convinced that it ought to be done, and has been convinced for so long that it is now time to do something else.

From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere.

Moses dragged us through the desert to the one place in the Middle East where there is no oil.

At one point in his life, the famous modern artist Pablo Picasso was robbed in his French home. He told the police he would be happy to paint them a picture of the robbers. “And on the strength of tha...

A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing. The other whips out his mobile phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps out to t...

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Always forgive your enemies -- nothing annoys them so much.

"Love! The walks over soft grass, the smiles over candlelight, the arguments over everything else."

I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.

“A man was about to jump off a bridge when a police officer caught him, right in the nick of time. The man was angry…’don’t you know I have nothing to live for’. Why would you stop me from taking my o...

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

The atheists have produced a Christmas play. It’s called Coincidence on Thirty-Fourth Street.

As we wait, it is critical that we keep our sense of humor in the fullest meaning of that word. When laughter goes, so does hope. When God reaffirms his promise to Abraham and Sarah, he restores not o...

“People say, “You must have been the class clown.” And I say, “No, I wasn’t. But I sat next to the class clown, and I studied him.”

Someone is suing Canada Dry Ginger Ale because it contains no ginger, so I’d like to formally announce my lawsuit against Panda Express.

After a great act by the comedian George Ade, a renowned lawyer took his turn to speak. He began by commenting on Ade’s performance: “Doesn’t it strike the company as a little unusual that a professio...

As a committed Southern Baptist, president Jimmy Carter was often questioned by reporters on a variety of moral issues. One day, a reporter asked, “How would you feel if you were told that your daught...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me wh...

Marriage is tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers.

One day, the famous surrealist painter Salvador Dalí walked into a New York bookstore and asked for a copy of his own autobiography, The Secret Life of Salvador Dalí . The young clerk immediately...

Archelaus the 5th century (BC) king of Macedon, was once having his hair cut. His barber, quite verbose like many others in his profession, asked King Archelaus how he would like his hair cut. His res...

Humor is, in fact, a prelude to faith; and laughter is the beginning of prayer.

Bureaucracy is the art of making the possible impossible.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.