avoidance on Dependence

In his book “Where Is God When It Hurts?”, author Philip Yancey shares an unfortunate, yet central dynamic related to how Americans respond to pain: we do everything possible to avoid it. That means p...

Nothing is more desirable than to be released from an affliction, but nothing is more frightening than to be divested of a crutch.

When we truly need to do is often what we most feel like avoiding.

The avoidance of pain is the beginning of all unhealthy behavior.

People who blame things rarely change things. Blame is an unassailable change-avoidance strategy.

A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep.”

A typical response to threat and burden is to want to flee it. It’s evacuation as the cure for trouble. If only I could get away is our mantra. Then I would be safe. Then I could enjoy my life. But wh...

What’s the difference between avoiding pain and seeking appropriate comfort? I have a friend who says, “The first episode of my favorite TV show is soothing. But if I’m watching the fifth episode in a...

Neurosis is the natural by-product of pain avoidance.

A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do.”

“My sister having so much to do, was going to church vicariously, that is to say, Joe and I were going.”

Even with the desire for a better life, we can be reluctant to do the work of boundaries because it will be a war. The battle falls into two categories: outside resistance we get from others and the r...

Social scientists define procrastination as “delaying a task for a maladaptively long time,” and it bedevils almost all of us. One study found that more than 70 percent of university students procrast...

“There’s nothing simpler than avoiding people you don’t like. Avoiding one’s friends, that’s the real test.”

“It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.

Compassion literally means to feel with, to suffer with. Everyone is capable of compassion, and yet everyone tends to avoid it because it's uncomfortable. And the avoidance produces psychic numbin...

Avoidance doesn’t solve anything; it merely serves as a temporary salve.

People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own souls.

Gracious God, thank you for the responsibilities you have entrusted to us and for all you have given us to fulfill them. Sometimes, Lord, we can feel overwhelmed by the challenges. A part of us wants ...

One’s own heart can be foreign territory, a terra incognita, and this lack of at-home-ness with oneself generates our propensity to run. We still can’t find what we’re looking for because we don’t kno...

Great and gracious God, we have run after things and others instead of coming home to You. We have lived as though we were the centers of our universe. We have avoided the harder issues in life so o...

I grew up in church. However, this church was part of a denomination that avoided mentioning the Holy Spirit whenever possible. Our denominational leaders treated Him a bit like the crazy uncle who sh...

Pushing aside emotions only makes them stronger.

I imagine that one of the reasons that people cling to their hate and prejudice so stubbornly, is that they sense that once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with their own pain.

While the truth that we cannot escape God’s all-seeing eye may weigh us down at times, it is finally the only remedy for our uneasiness. If we wish to hide from the penetrating gaze of holy love, it i...

A man who worked at an aviary in a bird park went to an outdoor wedding. He kept looking up until a friend finally asked him why. The man replied, “Sorry, I’m used to looking up to avoid falling bird ...

Death is not ok. By avoiding the subject of death, we act like that’s not true. And we shrink down the scale of Jesus’s victory to fit the world we live in now.

Running away from a problem only increases the distance from the solution. The easiest way to escape from the problem is to solve it.

Being a Christian is less about cautiously avoiding sin than about courageously and actively doing God's will.

John O’Donahue, in his book, Walking in Wonder, shares a story from India that is thousands of years old, but just as relevant today as it was back then. It’s about a man who was forced to spend a nig...