Struggle is Not Failure: A Lesson from the Desert Fathers

A Story from the Philokalia

A story is told in The Philokalia about a young monk who went to an older monk to confess a struggle. The older monk was appalled, telling the young monk that his struggle was a disqualifier and that he should leave the monastery for good. Which the young monk promptly did—driven by despair back to the world.

On the way, he was intercepted by another older monk, the great and wise Abba Apollos. When the young monk told Apollos his story, Apollos comforted him: “Do not be surprised my child, and do not lose hope. I too, old and grey as I am, am still much troubled by these thoughts.”

Comforted, the young monk returned to the monastery.

Apollos, though, was troubled by how the young monk was treated by the older monk, and so he prayed a bold prayer: “Lord, give the older monk the young monk’s struggle, so that in old age he may learn through experience what he has not been taught over these many years: how to feel sympathy with those who are under attack by demons.” 

The Lord answered his prayer, and with some loving counsel from Apollos, the older monk amended his ways.

Struggle is Not Failure

The story is insightful to me on many fronts, not least in this: lifelong struggle is not a sign that our faith has failed.

In fact, Apollos tells the older monk that part of the reason the devil had left him alone all those years was that his faith was so WEAK that he wasn’t worth wasting energy on.

What This Means for You

• What if our struggles are a sign that our faith is strong?

• What if, like Apollos, our struggles are also teaching us sympathy for others?

• What if, through them, we become like our Great High Priest Jesus, who also knew struggle—which made him fit to intercede for us?

How would that reframe your struggle?

(This was originally posted on Andrew Arndt's substack on Jan 10, 2024. Reposted with permission.)