When Life Goes Wrong

One of life’s enduring mysteries is that you don’t have to do anything wrong for your life to go horribly wrong. When we are abused, rejected, hurt, betrayed, or manipulated, we search our hearts and minds, wondering what we did wrong. Maybe you did things to open or close doors, but it is not your fault.

People make choices and they hurt us, but it’s not our fault. Don’t take it personally. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s profoundly true. When a man breaks up with a woman and says, “It’s not you, it’s me,” unconsciously he’s being outrageously honest.

The drunk who says, “I wasn’t thinking” isn’t lying. She wasn’t thinking about her husband and children. The man who cheats on his wife and says he didn’t think about how it would affect his wife and children isn’t lying. When we get in these self-destructive places, we are so self-absorbed that we don’t think of anyone or anything else. That’s why they call it selfishness.