I'm not Your Mother

Their first night home after their honeymoon, Paul set his alarm clock, turned off the lamp, fell onto the pillow, and said to his wife of six days, Rachel, “I’ve got to leave for work at six, so can you have breakfast ready by 5:45?” “Excuse me?” Rachel said. “5:45. I think that should be enough time for me to eat before I have to leave.” “What do you mean ‘have breakfast ready’?” “Well, my mom used to make me breakfast every morning: eggs, sausage, and homemade biscuits. So I figured you would too.” “I’m not your mom.” Paul is somehow still married, and now he’s the one who cooks…