Looking for Recognition

Speedy Morris is the basketball coach for LaSalle University. He was shaving when his wife told him he was wanted on the phone by Sports Illustrated. He got so excited over the prospect of national recognition that he hurried his shave and nicked himself. Not wanting to delay the caller, he ran out of the bathroom, lost his balance, and tumbled down the stairs. Limping, with blood and lather on his face, he finally got to the phone.

"Sports Illustrated?" he panted.

Imagine Morris' disappointment when the voice on the other end droned, "Yes it is, and for seventy-five cents an issue you can get a year's subscription...