Behavior vs. Identity

A number of years ago I was discipling a young man who had recently been released from the state’s juvenile detention center. As a teenager he had been hooked on drugs, and he had resorted to stealing to support his habit. His behavior had resulted in a new, unwanted identity. Standing before the judge, he likely heard something like this: “You stole (behavior), you are a thief (identity).” Not only was he declared guilty of law-breaking behavior, he was condemned as a thief.

Parents often follow the same pattern with their children. A young teen comes home from school with another…