Sermon Illustrations on Transitions

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Background

Settled & Unsettled Times

Sociologist Ann Swidler has written persuasively about the difference between “settled” and “unsettled” times. Settled times consist of “traditions and common sense; [within which we] refine and reinforce skills, habits, and modes of experience.” These settled times are where most of us spend nearly our entire lives.

They are the familiar and comfortable seasons of life in which our environments and habits are well understood. We are guided within them by routine because that is how we simplify and make sense of life. In the unsettled times, not routines but new ideas are the forces driving us forward. In these times, we “create new strategies for action.” These unsettled times are what I usually call transitionary periods.

… Our lives are an ongoing movement between settled and unsettled spaces. We use familiarity and routine for as long as we can, but when change occurs, we are often forced through new doorways and have to adapt to new ways of thinking, new modes of acting. Change moves us out of our previous settled time; transition moves us into the next one.

While changes are significant to our lives, it is the success of our transitions that will determine our satisfaction and effectiveness in the days and years to come—whether we will succeed in college or find satisfaction in our new job. This chapter is about discerning how to respond to the unsettling moments when change is around the corner, whether we chose it or not. How well we handle these moments makes a world of difference.

Where Were the Humanists?

Not long after the December 2012 Newtown shootings, and all the speeches by civic leaders, memorial services, and funerals were over, Samuel G. Freedman wrote a column in The New York Times titled “In a Crisis, Humanists Seem Absent.” Freedman observed the heavy use of explicit religious vocabulary and symbolism in all public ceremonies and by both political leaders and sufferers. Connecticut is hardly the center of the U.S. Bible Belt, yet every single family in Newtown who lost a child chose to hold religious services, which took place in Catholic, Congregational, Mormon, and Methodist churches, as well as in a Protestant mega-church and a Jewish cemetery.

A black Christian youth group journeyed from the Deep South to sing “Amazing Grace.” President Obama delivered a eulogy that was essentially a sermon, speaking of God “calling the children home.” He quoted extensively from 2 Corinthians 4 and 5 and used its hope for a world and life beyond this one to console and make bearable the losses we experience here and now. Freedman was one of many who found it startling that in an increasingly secular society, where now some twenty percent of the population told pollsters they had “no religious preference,” our society turned so visibly to God and faith to communally face the tragedy. Freedman said that it all “has left behind one prickly question: where were the humanists?

Quoted in Timothy Keller, Walking with God through Pain and Suffering.

Stories

Bruce’s Story & Voluntary Transitions

Bruce had served as the most successful CEO in the history of Alaska Airlines. In less than ten years on the job, he matured the company from an obscure, regional carrier to the nationwide brand it is today, growing its revenue tenfold. And then, all of a sudden, he stepped away: I started getting restless in about my tenth year . . . and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. . . . Somehow it wasn’t holding the fascination for me that it had. I was on the board of Mission Aviation Fellowship . . . and after the board meeting, we decided to drive over to Palm Springs and just go into a motel [to] read the Bible and pray, for guidance specifically on this issue. . . . I had just a very clear . . . understanding at that time that my time of stewardship with Alaska was coming to an end, and that I was to pass it on, step down. I was weeping, I was just openly sobbing.

Bruce was one of the first people I interviewed, and the story of his deeply emotional response to an oncoming transition struck me. As I interviewed others, I realized that his story was not unique. Time and time again, I saw people who, at the top of their careers, suddenly walked away. For some, it was a way to resolve tensions over work-life balance. For many others, it was a matter of needing a chance to self-renew after many years of long, hard work. A sudden break afforded a chance to undertake something entirely different. And for a few, it was a response to a sense of calling they had been feeling for a while and finally decided to act.

Bruce’s story sheds light on how we might approach these voluntary transitions. First, a transition is not always an escape from a bad time or tragic event. Many times transitions come even as the days are good, long, and sunny. But for everything there is a season, and oftentimes a sense of restlessness is the first sign that it is time to move along. The second lesson from Bruce’s story is that he didn’t keep his thoughts and deliberations to himself. Rather, he did the two things I found most common among successful people as they were facing a hard life decision. First, he sought counsel. The advice of a trusted confidant is invaluable at the onset of a transition. For Bruce it was his wife, a very natural choice. But it could also be a mentor, a pastor, a coach—anyone who can serve as a sounding board. Having long-term mentors and trusted friends is essential during these seasons.

Finally, and most soberingly, Bruce reminds us that leaving is tough. It often really hurts. But leaving a settled time opens the doorway to new possibilities, to even more enriching experiences. Bruce stepped away from being one of the best CEOs in the global airline industry and moved to China to teach English to refugees. That may not be the same move you make, but the impulse is the same: responding to a restless heart and pursuing a new season of fulfillment. The sense of restlessness that prompted Bruce to step away from being the best of the best prompted him also to pursue something that gave him an even deeper sense of purpose.

The Messy Middle

I became interested in the subject of transition outer changes around 1970 when I was going through some difficult inner and outer changes. Although I gave up my teaching career because of those changes, I found myself teaching a seminar called “Being in Transition.” (Rule number one: When you’re in transition, you find yourself coming back in new ways to old activities.)

The twenty-five adults who showed up tor that course were in various states of confusion and crisis, and I was a bit at sea myself. I had, after all, left my career and moved my family to the country…I had imagined, I think, that the seminar would attract mostly other exurbanites and that together we could puzzle out this difficult transition. A few of these new country folk were in the class, but the mix was far richer than that…

There was a young woman who was living on her own for the first time. She was appalled to find that the rest of us, her elders, didn’t have our lives in better shape. “Its OK to be messing around when you’re twenty-three,” she said, “but I plan to get it all together by the time I’m your age.” (We all nodded sheepishly and admitted we had planned it that way, too.)

William Bridges, Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, Lifelong Books.

The Two Hats

A man started a company and built it into a very large enterprise, and was planning to hand over the reins to his son at retirement. One day, he was walking through the factory and observed his son angrily berating an employee in front of other employees. He looked at his son and motioned for him to come to his office. “David,” he began. “I wear two hats around here. I am the boss and I am your father. Right now, I am going to put my boss hat on. You’re fired. You are done here. I will not have that kind of behavior in my company and will not ever tolerate employees being treated that way. I have warned you about this kind of thing before, and you are still doing it. So, I have to let you go.” Then he said, “Now, I am going to put on my father hat.” After a moment’s pause, he continued. “Son, I heard you just lost your job. How can I help you?”

Henry Cloud, “How to Add Climate Control to Your Life,” MariaShriver.com, February 6, 2014, https://mariashriver.com/blog/2014/02/how-to-add-climate-control-to-your-life-dr-henry-cloud/, accessed May 16, 2016.

Humor

The Messy Middle

I became interested in the subject of transition outer changes around 1970 when I was going through some difficult inner and outer changes. Although I gave up my teaching career because of those changes, I found myself teaching a seminar called “Being in Transition.” (Rule number one: When you’re in transition, you find yourself coming back in new ways to old activities.)

The twenty-five adults who showed up tor that course were in various states of confusion and crisis, and I was a bit at sea myself. I had, after all, left my career and moved my family to the country…I had imagined, I think, that the seminar would attract mostly other exurbanites and that together we could puzzle out this difficult transition. A few of these new country folk were in the class, but the mix was far richer than that…

There was a young woman who was living on her own for the first time. She was appalled to find that the rest of us, her elders, didn’t have our lives in better shape. “Its OK to be messing around when you’re twenty-three,” she said, “but I plan to get it all together by the time I’m your age.” (We all nodded sheepishly and admitted we had planned it that way, too.)

William Bridges, Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, Lifelong Books.

The Two Hats

A man started a company and built it into a very large enterprise, and was planning to hand over the reins to his son at retirement. One day, he was walking through the factory and observed his son angrily berating an employee in front of other employees. He looked at his son and motioned for him to come to his office. “David,” he began. “I wear two hats around here. I am the boss and I am your father. Right now, I am going to put my boss hat on. You’re fired. You are done here. I will not have that kind of behavior in my company and will not ever tolerate employees being treated that way. I have warned you about this kind of thing before, and you are still doing it. So, I have to let you go.” Then he said, “Now, I am going to put on my father hat.” After a moment’s pause, he continued. “Son, I heard you just lost your job. How can I help you?”

Henry Cloud, “How to Add Climate Control to Your Life,” MariaShriver.com, February 6, 2014, https://mariashriver.com/blog/2014/02/how-to-add-climate-control-to-your-life-dr-henry-cloud/, accessed May 16, 2016.