Sermon Illustrations on feedback

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Studies

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Background

Getting Feedback is Hard

We all have blind spots. We all have flaws in our personalities, behavior, or work habits that we can’t see, and they block our performance and growth. But others can see them. If we permit them to give us honest feedback, they’ll do us a huge favor so we can improve. At a recent all-staff meeting, one senior staff member spoke about building this culture of feedback.

Byron emphasized the importance of feedback, taught how to give and receive it, and then, at the end, modeled how to do it. It comes down to two questions: “What did I do well? And what could I do better?” He stood in front of our entire staff and said, “So now I want you to tell me. What did I do well in my talk today, and what could I have done better?”

Nobody said a word, so he repeated the question. Finally one brave soul raised his hand and commented on what he had done well. Byron said, “Thank you for that. Now what could I have done better?” Silence. The guy was surrounded by 250 colleagues who feared offending this senior staff person. Byron pressed harder: “Come on. Give me the gift of knowing how I can improve.”

What a great statement. Finally the same guy said, “It was five minutes or so too long.” And he was right—it was five minutes too long, and everybody in the room knew it except Byron. Now he knew. Byron thanked him profusely and then said, “Someone else, what did I do well, and where can I improve?”

He asked this four or five times, getting input from different people, until it became almost fun and normal. Can you imagine how a staff or business would improve if they learned how to give and receive honest feedback on their performance?

I’m actually quite bad at giving and receiving feedback. I don’t like it; I get short of breath, and my whole body shakes.

So I procrastinate and often wait until the pain is so bad and the damage so severe that it’s too late to resolve. But I’m trying. Whenever I sense pain in my body, spirit, or relationships, I try to pay attention to it. I’m trying to find the most competent people, ask for their advice, compare their thoughts, and—this is key—find the overlap. I look for repetition. When five competent people all say the same thing, then it’s more likely you have the facts. You simply can’t improve and find freedom from the old life until you go on a fact-finding mission about what’s causing pain. So be humble, and be honest.

Bob Merritt, Done with That: Escape the Struggle of Your Old Life, David C Cook, 2005, pp. 66-67.

Getting the Ball Rolling

Surprisingly, the most common complaint we hear about feedback is, “I don’t get enough.” This tells us that despite feedback’s damaged brand most of us still crave it and intuitively know that it’s a good thing—when it’s done right. However, even when we take into account all the “unregistered” feedback we’ve been receiving, most of us are still experiencing a feedback deficit. A 2018 Office Vibe “Global State of Employee Engagement” study found that 62 percent of employees want more feedback from their colleagues, and 83 percent said they appreciate feedback, be it positive or negative.

This is the paradox: despite the mess we’ve made of it, most of us want more feedback, yet few of us make a habit of actively seeking or extending it. Feedback begets feedback, but somebody needs to help get this ball rolling. What if that somebody were you?

Feedback (and Other Dirty Words): Why We Fear It, How to Fix It Berrett-Koehler Publishers. Kindle Edition, (p. 9).

Stories

Backseat Editors

Fred Allen (1984-1956) was a famous American comedian, writer, and radio star. When one of his scripts for a radio show was given back to him with significant changes in bright blue ink, Allen began flipping through the pages impatiently. “Where were you fellows when the paper was blank?” he asked.

Stuart Strachan Jr., Source material from Clifton Fadiman, Bartlett’s Book of Anecdotes.

The Only Opinion That Matters

Most of us have heard of Babe Ruth, but have you ever heard of Babe Pinelli? Pinelli was an umpire in Major League Baseball who once called The Great Bambino (Ruth) out on strikes. When the crowd began booing in disapproval of the call, Babe turned to the umpire and said “There’s 40,000 people here who know that the last pitch was a ball.”

The coaches and players braced for a swift ejection, but instead, Pinelli responded coolly, “Maybe so, Babe, but mine is the only opinion that counts.” In life it’s easy to get caught up in the opinions of others, but in the end, it’s not our scoffers or critics by whom we will be judged, only God.

Stuart Strachan Jr.

Studies

An Ocean of Feedback

We swim in an ocean of feedback. Each year in the United States alone, every schoolchild will be handed back as many as 300 assignments, papers, and tests. Millions of kids will be assessed as they try out for a team or audition to be cast in a school play. Almost 2 million teenagers will receive SAT scores and face college verdicts thick and thin. At least 40 million people will be sizing up one another for love online, where 71 percent of them believe they can judge love at first sight.

And now that we know each other . . . 250,000 weddings will be called off, and 877,000 spouses will file for divorce. More feedback awaits at work. Twelve million people will lose a job and countless others will worry that they may be next. More than 500,000 entrepreneurs will open their doors for the first time, and almost 600,000 will shut theirs for the last. Thousands of other businesses will struggle to get by as debates proliferate in the boardroom and the back hall about why they are struggling. Feedback flies.

Did we mention performance reviews? Estimates suggest that between 50 and 90 percent of employees will receive performance reviews this year, upon which our raises, bonuses, promotions—and often our self-esteem—ride. Across the globe, 825 million work hours—a cumulative 94,000 years—are spent each year preparing for and engaging in annual reviews. Afterward we all certainly feel a thousand years older, but are we any wiser?

Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen, Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well, Penguin Publishing Group.

Analogies

Looking for Feedback

Praying to an invisible God does not bring forth the same feedback you would get from a counselor or from friends who at least nod their heads in sympathy. Is anyone really listening? As Ernestine, the nasal-voiced telephone operator played by comedienne Lily Tomlin, used to ask, “Have I reached the party to whom I am speaking?”