Sermon Illustrations on intimacy
Background
Circles of Intimacy
Circles of intimacy—marriages, families, friendships, and churches—exist not only for themselves but to enrich the lives of those outside the circle as well. // Here’s a phrase you’ll never read in the Bible: “Where do you go to church?” In fact, there’s no place in the Bible that even says you should go to church. // There’s an important reason for this. // At the time when the New Testament books were written, nobody thought about calling a building a church. The church didn’t even have any buildings then. It just had people. But then, over the centuries, a strange thing happened. What used to describe a group of people came to be the name of a building. //
Sometimes, people will look at a building where a group of people congregate and say, “You have a beautiful church.” But to the early Christians, that would have made as much sense as someone looking at a crib and saying, “You have a beautiful baby.” // Babies are people. A crib is just a place where you put the baby—and not all the time. You put the baby in the crib so that he or she can rest up and recharge to go back into the world. The world is where the action is.
The Experience of Knowing a Person
You never really know a person until you know how that person perceives himself. I’m sure you have had experiences like I’ve had when you were sharing with another person, and that sharing became deep, when pretensions were dissolved and defenses failed and honesty prevailed. You sat on the edge of your seat, or you stood at attention in your mind to listen to what that person had to say, because you knew that person was sharing his innermost feelings about who he is and what he’s about.
Those are the kinds of moments when people really meet, when deep calls unto deep and soul touches soul.
Maxie Dunman, Sermon: I am the Door, Quoted in Mark Galli & Craig Brian Smith, Preaching that Connects, Zondervan.
Like an Old Coat
On a little study table in my office, there’s a card with a quote from Victor Hugo’s epic novel Les Misérables:
My coat and I live comfortably together. It has assumed all my wrinkles, does not hurt me anywhere, has molded itself on my deformities, and is complacent to all my movements, and I only feel its presence because it keeps me warm. Old coats are old friends.
On the back of the card, written in pen, are four words: You are my coat. It is signed by my wife. That’s intimacy.
Intimacy & Sex
Somewhere along the way, in the minds of a lot of people in our culture, the word intimacy got all tangled up with sex. But even though there is a connection between the two words, they are not interchangeable, and one is not necessarily dependent on the other. We don’t need to have sex to be intimate with someone. And we don’t need to be intimate with someone in order to have sex. In fact, the vast majority of our intimate relationships have absolutely nothing to do with sex. Intimacy also applies to our relationships with our kids, our parents, our friends, our coworkers—and even with God.
Stories
All Flame
There’s a story told in The Sayings of the Desert Fathers…Abba Lot said to Abba Joseph, “Abba, as far as I can I say my little office, I fast a little, I pray and meditate, I live in peace and as far as I can, I purify my thoughts. What else can I do?”
In answer to Lot’s question, Joseph “stood up and stretched his hands towards heaven.” As he did so, “his fingers became like ten lamps of fire,” and he said to Lot, “If you will, you can become all flame.”
Andrew Arndt, All Flame: Entering into the Life of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, NavPress, 2020.
When Words Fail
Ronald Rohlheiser tells a true story of a Jewish boy named Mordechai who could not be coaxed into going to school. When he turned six years old, his mother forced him to go, but the process was miserable for both mother and son. The boy cried, kicking and screaming the entire way. Once he had been dropped off, the mother began her return home, only to find Mordechai already there, having run home immediately after getting dropped off.
Each day, the mother would drag the boy to school, and each day he would fight her tooth and nail, then run back home as soon as he could. At this point, the parents resorted to the usual carrots and sticks, bribes, and threats that most parents resort to when no other meaningful path presented itself.
Finally, they decided to visit their rabbi, hoping he might have some deeper wisdom to offer. To their relief, the rabbi was happy to help, telling the parents that if the boy wouldn’t respond to their words, to “bring him to me.”
The parents brought the boy to the rabbi’s study. The rabbi didn’t say a word. Instead, he simply picked the boy up and held him in his arms, close to his heart. He did this for a long period of time, until finally, he set the boy down. This connection was all the boy needed to have the courage to go to school. And go to school he did, Mordechai would grow up to become a great rabbi and scholar. Ultimately, when words fail, a silent embrace may be all that is needed.
Stuart Strachan Jr., Source material from Ronald Rolheiser, Our One Great Act of Fidelity: Waiting for Christ in the Eucharist
Analogies
Circles of Intimacy
Circles of intimacy—marriages, families, friendships, and churches—exist not only for themselves but to enrich the lives of those outside the circle as well. // Here’s a phrase you’ll never read in the Bible: “Where do you go to church?” In fact, there’s no place in the Bible that even says you should go to church. // There’s an important reason for this. // At the time when the New Testament books were written, nobody thought about calling a building a church. The church didn’t even have any buildings then. It just had people. But then, over the centuries, a strange thing happened. What used to describe a group of people came to be the name of a building. //
Sometimes, people will look at a building where a group of people congregate and say, “You have a beautiful church.” But to the early Christians, that would have made as much sense as someone looking at a crib and saying, “You have a beautiful baby.” // Babies are people. A crib is just a place where you put the baby—and not all the time. You put the baby in the crib so that he or she can rest up and recharge to go back into the world. The world is where the action is.
Humor
When We Were Young
An elderly couple lies in bed. She is not satisfied with the distance between them. She reminds him, “When we were young, you used to hold my hand in bed.” He hesitates, but in a few moments a wrinkled hand snakes across the bed and grasps hers. She is not satisfied “When we were young, you used to cuddle right up next to me.” More serious hesitation now. But eventually, with a few groans, he laboriously turns his body and cradles hers as best he can.
She is not satisfied.
“When we were young, you used to nibble on my ear.”
Loud sigh. He throws back the covers and bolts out of bed. She is somewhat hurt by this.
“Where are you going?”
“To get my teeth.”
Taken from John Ortberg, Love Beyond Reason (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1998).
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